Taking Over Me
by sammyjayne74
Summary: Sam and Shelley's relationship hits a rocky path. But neither of them could have imagined what was about to happen. Something that could tear them apart forever. Contains an original female character. And a committed loving relationship between 2 consenting adults. Part 2 is in progress after an 8 year gap. Knew i'd get there eventually
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Taking Over Me

**Series: **Taking Over Me (Part 1)

**Pairings:** Sam/Shelley Established Relationship

**Notes:** This is a WIP. Feedback is always appreciated. If you like it, tell me. The rest of it coming soon.

**Summary:** Something bad is about to happen at the SGC...

**Warnings:** None. Set During late S6 early S7

The last few weeks hadn't been the most ideal for two people in a relationship. Extra work, hardly any time to spend together and the fact that one of them hardly seemed interested in having a relationship.

In the last few weeks, ten members of SG teams had been killed in off-world attacks. Sam had taken it particularly hard, having been there when Major Crawford from SG8 had been killed. Which had been two days ago. Last night had been the first time Shelley had seen her since it happened. She hadn't been in the mood for romance but had still wanted to be close to her. During the last attack, her friend Captain Russell had been killed. Shelley wanted to comfort Sam but wanted to be comforted herself.

Instead they'd eaten dinner together in silence, only speaking when the other wanted to be passed the salt. When they'd gone to bed, Sam had slept with her back to Shelley. They'd just slept like that all night until Shelley spent the rest of the night in the spare room with Mia. She'd been lonely. She missed being in Sam's arms and it had been so long. All she wanted was to feel her next to her, to kiss her. She never felt alone when they were together. Sam had always made her feel safe and protected. Just like Daniel and Jack had done. Only now, Shelley had wanted to protect Sam but she wouldn't let her. She wouldn't even talk to her. Shelley had to put up with the military, stiff up a lip from Jack all of her life. And she understood that there had to be a detachment but it didn't stop Shelley from feeling like an outsider. Sam wasn't the only one who was concerned about what was going on. Shelley didn't know most of the time if the people she loved was going to come back. Having already lost Daniel, there wasn't a moment that went by that she didn't feel sick inside at the thought of not seeing them again. It wasn't just Sam, it was Jack too. He was he brother. She'd already lost her mother, Daniel was gone and the last thing she wanted was to lose her brother too.

The redhead stood in the kitchen, cleaning away the plates from the night before and her breakfast. She'd look in on Sam half an hour ago and saw she was still asleep. During the night, Shelley had come to a decision. It wasn't one she liked to make, but there didn't seem to be any other way. She half looked at the bag on the kitchen table. Shelley had packed away most of her and Mia's stuff before breakfast. She'd been looking around the kitchen looking for Mia's bottles and other stuff. Like the toys Sam kept screaming at when she stepped on them when she came home in the middle of the night. Now they were packed away, with that and a few personal items of Shelley's. A few pictures of the two of them and a few of her and Jack. There was no way that she wanted to leave. Whatever it was that was wrong with their relationship, Shelley wanted to work it out.

Her head looked up as she heard footsteps behind her and a soft shuffling sound.

"What's going on?"

Shelley looked at Sam who was standing in the hallway. The robe she put at the end of her bed was now wrapped around her waist. Her eyes were half closed, still tired from her lack of sleep for the last few nights. She didn't know how she had managed to get to the kitchen without bumping into or knocking something over.

"Shelley." Sam whispered.

Her eyes followed her around the room, finally stopping on the duffle bag on the kitchen table.

"I'm going home for a few days...until."

"You're leaving?"

Shelley shook her head.

"No. Well, yes. I am."

"Why?"

Shelley pulled out of the chairs and sat down.

"Because..."  
"That's not an answer Shelley."

"I know. And I don't want to go. I just can't stay when you won't."

Sam was confused, even in her state of mild unconsciousness.

"You're making no sense."

Shelley rose from her seated position and pushed the chair back under the table.

"Why do you think I slept in the spare room last night?"  
"I don't know." Sam said, shaking her head.

She moved into the kitchen, trying to make less space between her and Shelley.

"Because it's obvious that you don't want to be near me. You slept with your back to me, for Christ's sake. You've never done that before."

"I was tired. I just wanted to sleep."

The lines on Shelley's face deepened as a scowl appeared.

"Yeah well, that hasn't stopped you before."  
"Is that what this is about? Because I was tired and we never had sex last night."

The redhead shook her head, furiously.

"Of course not. I know you've been going through some stuff lately, we all have. I just wanted to hold you. That's all I wanted was to hold you. To make it all go away."

"You can't make this go away with a hug Shell. You can't make what I feel go away."  
"I know. But you won't even let me try." Shelley shouted. "Why won't you let me try?"

Sam snapped her hand back as Shelley tried to grab hold of it.

"I don't need comforting Shelley. I just want to be left alone."

The redhead picked up the hold all and held it at her side.

"Well, that's not going to be a problem is it," she said.

Shelley moved past her, trying to hold on to the last remaining emotions she was keeping inside. But it came out as Sam reached out and touched her arm. She turned slowly; several tears began to fall down her face.

"Where will you go?" Sam asked.

"Jack said we could stay with him until I've got the apartment sorted out. I'll get him to pick up the rest of my things."

Sam pulled at Shelley's arm a bit more, pulling her closer.

"There's no need for that is there. This isn't a permanent arrangement."

"It's not like you talk to me or acknowledge me when I am here. So what's the difference if I go home."

"Because..."

Sam's hand began to rise to Shelley's face.

"Don't please... Don't make this any harder for me."  
"Then go," Sam said, angrily as she lowered her hand. "I was alone long before I met you."

The redhead sighed.

"You wanted to be left alone Sam. Which is fine by me. I hope you're happy by yourself."

And she walked away. Mia had been sitting in her pushchair in the living room and Shelley pushed it and the infant towards the front door.

Sam stood and watched them leave. She'd driven away the woman she loved. Her mood had put a wedge between them and Shelley hadn't been able to break down the wall Sam had put up around her.

Shelley rang Jack's doorbell, struggling with Mia in one hand and her bag in the other. He opened the door, seeing his sister in the doorway. Mia looked up at him and started giggling. Jack smiled for a moment, but it went away as he saw the look on her mothers face. He took his niece as Shelley dropped her bag on to the porch. That look said it all. She moved into the house silently without needing to say a word.

Jack heard the crash from in the kitchen as he emerged out of the spare room, having put Mia down for her afternoon nap. Shelley was bending down, picking up the pieces of glass that had shattered. Jack knelt down besides her, grabbing her hands before she cut herself. A small piece of glass pierced the skin on her hand and it bled a little.

"Damn it," she shouted.

She winced in pain, as it grew sore. Jack held her hand as they both stood up. He looked into the eyes of his sister, feeling her pain. Not only through the pain in her hand, but the pain in her heart. The tears began to fall slowly down her cheek as he pulled her close for a hug. He felt her shake as her sobbing began to rack through her body, making him slightly shudder too. What came from inside her wasn't the sobbing of a thirty year old woman but a five-year-old girl. That five year old he had held when he'd told her that her mother had died. The same five year old he'd told about Daniel. That kid would re-surface now and again. Now she had returned, needing her brother's comfort and support.

"I...I...I think Sam and I just broke up." Shelley whispered.

Shelley sat on Jack's sofa; a cushion huddled in her arms. Her eyes looked up at Jack as he approached her. Her brother placed a bowl of chocolate ice cream in her hands.

"Always worked when you were a kid," he said.

Shelley took it from him without hesitation and took a lick of her spoon.

"How long have you been saving this?"

Jack sighed as she sat down besides her.

"Since you told me about the two of you."

"I see."

"You're not angry with me?" Jack asked.

"Of course not. Looks like you were right, after all"

"What happened?"

He pulled out another spoon from around his back, helping Shelley with her pudding.

"I don't know. We haven't been exactly close for the last few weeks. I know you've been through a lot, we all have. I lost a friend, a good friend. But Sam… she won't let me in. She won't talk to me, she won't let me touch her."

Jack squirmed a little in his chair.

"And I know what you're thinking," Shelley said. "But it's not like that. She won't let me hold her to comfort her."

"I'm sure she has her reasons." Jack said.

Shelley stood quickly, giving her brother the whole bowl.

"What reason could she have for pushing me away."

He didn't know what to say to her. What could he say? He didn't know what Carter was thinking or how she felt. It had affected them all differently. Jonas hadn't known what to do, except keep himself to him self most of the time. The same as Teal'c had. But none of them had pushed the other away. Shelley had seen Jack and Teal'c talking. It was just Sam who refused to talk.

"I wish I knew Shell. I wish I could make this easier. I don't think you should give up on her just yet. Give her space and some time."

Shelley smiled.

"Looks like those sessions with Dr McKenzie paid off."

"Maybe. But if I say anything like that again, just shoot me."

"I will. The last thing I need from you is all that touchy feely crap."

The redhead sitting next to him began to laugh, making him smile.

"That's good Shell. And you and the little one can stay here for as long as you like."

"Thanks. It'll only until I get the apartment sorted out properly. I've hardly been there for the last few weeks and.."

"It's okay. As long as you need to be here."

Shelley smiled. This was one of those rare moments that she loved her brother and was thankful that she had him.

"It's been a long day I'm gonna go have a lie down for a while and I want to check on Mia. The last few weeks have been unsettling."

"Kids are resilient."

"What about her mother?" Shelley asked as she stood up.

"Well, she's been through a lot. And she's come through it pretty well."

She sighed as she made her way towards the spare bedroom.

"But she can only take so much," she whispered to herself.

A few minutes passed and Jack stood up and went to check on his sister and niece. Mia was fast asleep in her bed and Shelley was sitting on the edge of the bed. There was photograph in her hand and Jack heard her sobbing softly. Tears fell from her face and splashed on the glass of the picture frame.

"Shelley..." he whispered.

Her head turned seeing Jack moving towards her. He sat besides and half smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I've lost her and sometimes I don't think I ever really had her. If you know what I mean?"

"Yeah I know what you mean. I'm sure she just needs space Shell. I've seen you two together, the way you look at each other. The way she looks at you, she loves you Shelley. I don't think she could keep away for long."

"I hope so, Jack. I hope so."

She wrapped her arms around her brother as she continued to cry softly. Jack had always tried to be supportive since finding out about their relationship. He'd seen how much they cared for each other and finally respected Shelley's decision. But this, this he didn't understand. How could Sam treat her like this? Push her away when it was clear that she needed her. It was an answer to a question he wanted to find out for her.

Jack left Shelley making dinner. The conversation after the bedroom had been non-existent. He knew Shelley didn't feel like talking much anymore. So he'd made the perfect excuse, some late work at the base he needed to take care of. Not that the base was where he was going.

In the back of his mind, he knew that he shouldn't be there. But what else could he do? He wasn't about to let Shelley get hurt again. That had happened to many times before. That he'd sat back and done nothing whilst her life had been turned upside down and inside out. What he couldn't figure out was why Carter was doing this to her. What could be so bad that it would make her turn her back on their relationship and on Shelley. Now, when he found out about their relationship, he'd had doubts about if it would last or not. But after seeing them together for the last 8 months, Jack knew that what they had was special. There was devotion between them that made him smile. Up till now, Jack thought that Carter would never hurt his sister. Now, he just had to know why she had.

Sam lay on the couch, still wearing her robe. She hadn't felt like doing anything since Shelley had left that morning. She'd made herself some coffee and settled on the couch all day, watching television. Stupid sappy television movies of the week and that soap opera she makes Shelley tape when she's off world. Even now she found it less than interesting. It didn't have the same effect than when she's watching it and Shelley's made those stupid noises next to her. Shelley didn't understand how an intelligent, beautiful woman like Sam could watch that kind of trash television. It made no sense to her. But everyone had to have a little quirk about them and Shelley had loved that in Sam. Sam closed her eyes, trying not to relive those memories again in her mind. When she'd usually be watching this, Shelley would be sitting next to her or lying on her lap. Sam often wondered why, if Shelley hated it so much, did she always watch it with her. A part of her understood, that she wanted to be close to her.

Sam looked up from the TV as she heard her doorbell ring. She wasn't in the mood or dressed for visitors. Deep down she felt like hell and probably looked like it too. Her reflection spat out something horrible at her as she caught a glimpse of herself as she passed by the mirror on the way to the door. Her hand reached out to clasp the handle and opened the door.

"Colonel."

Jack stood on the step and looked at her.

"Well, this is productive. I've got one at home just like that. Look's like we have a matching pair," he said.

Sam didn't smile at his obvious attempt at humour. Instead she turned on her heels and headed back into the safety of her house. She left the door open, her subtle way of inviting the colonel in without actually asking.

Jack looked around the house. It was usually in an immaculate condition and still was apart from a few breakfast items on the kitchen table that Sam had left instead of cleaning away.

"So what's going on Carter? It's not like you to wallow around feeling sorry for yourself." He asked.

She looked up from her soap-induced coma and glared at him.

"Shelley left me. You tell me how I'm supposed to feel?

Her first sentence was said with tears welling up in her eyes. But she couldn't let him see. She couldn't let him go back and tell Shelley how much she was hurting. However much Sam wanted her to know a part of her didn't want her to feel sorry for her.

"I can't tell you. I said the same thing to Shelley."

A small smile appeared on Sam's face as he spoke her name.

"How is she? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay. Well not really, but what do you expect."

His tone was harsher than before. His calm finally dropped, making way for anger. Sam sat up straight on the sofa and looked at him for a moment before turning away.

"What the hell happened?" Jack asked. "I thought the two of you were…"

"We are… we were. I…I can't. I don't know what happened. What did she tell you?"

Jack moved across the living room and sat on a chair opposite his friend.

"Not much. Only that you two haven't been getting on. That since this whole mess started at the base that you won't talk to her. That you refuse to let her get close to you!"

This was one conversation he thought he would never have, especially not with Carter and not with his sister's girl friend.

"Is that what she thinks this is about?"

"Is it?" Jack asked.

Sam stood from the sofa, pacing the room quietly and slowly.

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I've seen my friends, my colleagues die and I can't hold on anymore."

"Then why push her away? I thought you were supposed to love her."

Sam stopped quickly and turned around.

"I do. That's why I'm doing this. It might hurt now, but she'll understand in time."

"In time. You think that's going to make her feel better. She's hurting now and you've hurt her. No one hurts my family Carter, no one. I told Daniel the exact same thing."

Her head spun around on hearing his statement and that name. Jack knew how uncomfortable Carter was when someone mentioned Daniel. Maybe that's why he'd said his name, to make her feel bad.

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Sam said, bowing her head.

"Then maybe you should tell her that. Cause right now, that's exactly what you're doing."

Jack stood from his chair and moved across the room without saying another word. He'd said all he needed to say. He left Sam standing in the middle of the room. Jack had never seen anything get to her like this before. Was it really to do with the fact that Shelley had left her or the reason for her leaving in the first place?

He looked back to see what Sam was doing. She'd moved from the middle of the room and was now standing by the mantle piece, staring at some old photos. One of which wasn't that old, maybe a few weeks. It was of Shelley and Mia. Jack knew how old the picture was because he was the one who had taken it. Sam smiled at the picture. But her smile disappeared as she looked around her house. That's what it was now, just a house. Until yesterday it had felt more like home.

**Next Day**

The last thing Shelley wanted to do was work. There was a pretty good chance that she would bump into 'her' and everything she felt over the last eight months would all come flooding back. Shelley knew that if she saw her face, those blue eyes that her resolve would weaken and she would go back to her and forget why she had left in the first place. A part of Shelley wanted to hate Sam for letting her go so easily. Why hadn't she fought for her? Why hadn't she begged her not to go. Bumping in to her was just something that Shelley wasn't looking forward too.

Shelley had agreed to meet Jack for lunch before her mission briefing with SG7.

She sat in front of him, playing with her food, making it more disgusting that it already was. Whatever it had been, it certainly wasn't edible now. Not that Shelley had any interest in eating it anyway. Her eyes flittered around the room as though she was looking for someone. But as she made eye contact with anyone she would look away quickly. Jack looked at her, stirring her spoon in her coffee enough times that it made a small whirlpool in her cup.

"You looking forward to your mission?" he asked.

Her eyes looked up momentarily before going back down to her coffee.

"Its just a routine soil sample survey. Very routine, very boring, very me apparently." Shelley said.

"What do you mean?"

"That's all I seem to do."

"Because…that is what you do." Jack said with a smile.

Shelley looked up again, hearing the laughter in his voice and smiled at her brother.

"I guess it is. And I do it so well."

The redhead began to laugh. But it left her lips as her eyes fell on the figure standing in the doorway. Jack turned his head, seeing Carter standing behind them. Shelley pushed out her chair and stood up. She walked up to her, squeezing past her. Their bodies pressed against each other and Sam's hand reached out and touched Shelley's. The redhead stopped for a moment to look at her. She knew it was a mistake the moment she stopped but couldn't help her self. Sam breathed in, smelling her hair. It brought back a hundred memories of her lying next to her, watching her as she slept. She felt Shelley pull away and her hand slip from hers. Her heart sank as she watched her walk away. Why did she have to be so stupid and let go the best thing in her life?

Jack stood, on his way out to follow his sister.

"She's late for a briefing. SG7 are going out on a mission this afternoon."  
"I know. I remember, she told me. We were going to have lunch together before she left. Kind of a ritual thing." Sam said.

He smiled nervously at her and headed out of the commissary. Sam stood on her own again. She watched as the colonel caught up to Shelley, further down the corridor. She turned her head, managing to look at Sam for a moment before turning away. So this is what it had come to, Shelley not even able to look at her. This wasn't what she wanted. She hadn't wanted Shelley to leave. But her behaviour over the last few weeks had warranted her to leave. It had only been one night and Sam missed them both so much already.

Sam stood on the outskirts of Shelley's lab, deciding whether or not to enter or to just leave her alone. Their talk the previous morning hadn't cleared anything up. Sam thought that Shelley had just moved out to give her space. But from the way Jack had spoken to her yesterday, she got the impression that Shelley had ended their relationship.

The major smiled as she saw Shelley pottering around her lab, trying to pick up the appropriate supplies and equipment she needed for her mission with SG7. The smile on her face continued as stopped for a moment, deciding on what to take, her fancy new microscope or her laptop. Both were equally important but space in her backpack was getting limited. Shelley's face turned into a frown, as she couldn't decide what to take. Sam smiled as she saw the redhead's nose crinkle. She didn't realize how much she missed her until that moment. It was the stupidest of moments, but nevertheless simple enough to make her want her back. And she wanted her back so badly. Just spending one night alone in their bed was bad enough but the thought of spending the rest of her life without her was something she couldn't think about. It was just too painful.

"Shelley," she finally managed to whisper.

The redhead turned, almost dropping her laptop. Sam entered the lab, catching it before Shelley had a chance to drop it again. Their hands touched for a moment and it was Shelley who pulled away, however slowly it was. She placed the computer on her desk and moved away from Sam to the opposite side of the lab.

"I'm kind of busy, is there something you wanted?" Shelley asked.

"I wanted to talk. You left so quickly yesterday. We didn't have a chance to talk." Sam said.

Shelley could barely look at her. Even know she was finding hard not to tell her that she was sorry and that she would go home with her. But she couldn't.

"There wasn't much left to say, Sam."

"I think there is. Did you just move out yesterday?"

In all of the confusion and raised emotions of yesterday, Shelley hadn't made it clear of what had happened, mainly because she wasn't sure of it herself. Had she just moved out or had the two of them split up. That's what she had told her brother, that the two had separated. Maybe a part of her just didn't want to believe that it was over between them.

"I couldn't stay any longer. Being with you and not being with you was too much for me. You won't let me get close to you." Shelley said.

Sam became bold and moved towards her, reaching out her hand.

"I know. It hasn't been easy for me either. I wanted you to hold me, I want you to hold me, its just…"

"What, Sam. What is so bad that it's worth pushing me away for?"

Sam just stood there looking at the hurt that was growing on Shelley's face.

"I can't explain…I can't do this."

"Then why come here? Why come here and…"

The redhead turned away from her. The pain in her heart grew as the realization of the situation struck her.

"Then I guess it really is over." Shelley whispered.

"Shelley, don't…"

She still stood with her back to Sam, but turned her head as she felt a hand on her waist. Her eyes looked at her, conveying her sorrow in her choice. A sigh escaped her throat as she enjoyed the close contact of Sam's touch. She turned fully around, come face to face.

"We can talk about this." Sam said.

"Its obvious that you don't want to talk about it."

"I just need time Shelley. I need you."

"No you don't."

It was the hardest thing she ever had to say, until the next sentence that came out of her mouth.

"It's over Sam. I can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. Who doesn't trust me enough to talk to me! To tell me what's gone wrong. To tell me your hurting, why you're hurting."

"Please…"

Sam raised her hand and brushed it against Shelley's cheek. Her eyes closed for a moment. Part of her wanted to pull her close, taste the softness of her lips one more time. To feel her warm body next to her, fingers sliding through her hair, running down her body. Shelley took Sam's hand, removing it from her face.

"Don't Sam…"

Sam stepped back, letting her hand fall slowly down Shelley's arm.

"It's over." She muttered.

Shelley nodded slowly. The tears began to swell in her eyes. It wasn't easy fighting them back, but she did it as best as she could. However hard this moment was it was going to get worse. Seeing her, working with her, just wanting things to go back to the way they were, was going to be a nightmare for her.

Sam turned slowly, her heart pounded, the blood pumping through her ears as Shelley spoke the words again.

"It's over," she whispered softly.

Sam tried to keep her self composed and succeeded until she stepped out into the corridor. Shelley slumped down in her chair and sobbed quietly with her head in her hands. Her tears dripped down her cheeks and she wiped them away slowly. Ending a relationship was never easy. But this, this felt ten times as worse as she had before. Maybe she never had really been in love before, apart that is with Daniel. A part of her felt as though she was dying inside.

Outside in the corridor, Sam stood with her back to the wall, fighting the tears that dared to fall from her eyes. She'd been taught from an early age to fight her emotions and being in the military it was drummed into her not to let other people see it too. That was one of the reasons why Shelley had felt the need to end their relationship. Because, Sam didn't want to tell her how she was feeling. To let her break down that wall she had put up around herself for most of her life. Sam wanted to tell her but somehow she couldn't. However much it hurt her to accept, it was better this way.

**Two Days Later**

Jack sat in the briefing room, his head periodically looking around at the gate. He looked back towards the metal staircase as she saw Carter and Teal'c entering the briefing room.

"What's going on?" Sam asked.

Jonas looked up from the table, making eye contact with Jack then with Sam.

"It's SG7. Their twelve hours later for checking in," he said.

"And you think that there's something wrong?" Sam asked.

Jack looked away, a little shocked by her lack of concern. Considering that Shelley was with SG7, he thought she would be a little more upset, concerned or something other than sounding cold.

"Well considering what's been happening lately, yeah, you could say that." Jack said.

Sam and Teal'c made their way over to the table and sat down.

"Yes Carter, we are worried. The last thing we want is another four…." Jack could barely speak the words. "…. Dead team members."

Everyone around the table looked at him. All of them knew that this wasn't about any four-team members. This was about his sister and the fact that he wanted to make sure she was still alive.

"You don't think that there's something really wrong, do you?" Carter asked.

Her eyes flittered around the table, trying to find someone to give her an answer.

"It's not like Major Slater not to check in," Jack said. "And if there was something wrong, he'd find away to get a message through."

"Not if they were all dead." Sam said, harshly.

The colonel glared at her from his position on the opposite side of the table.

"That's just not gonna happen." He said.

Sam broke the stare at turned her attention to General Hammond who entered the briefing room from his office. She and the colonel stood up as he sat down at his chair at the head of the table.

"The pictures from the M.A.L.P suggest that the area surrounding the gate is clear." Jonas said.

"And there has been no communication at all?" Teal'c asked.

Jack shook his head.

"General," he said. "We have to assume that something has…."

"Colonel you don't have to sell me, you leave in one hour." Hammond answered.

Jack stayed seated for a moment, watching as Carter and the others got to their feet. There was no emotion on her face as Sam left the room. She didn't even look back to see if the colonel was following them. He didn't know what to think. Was she keeping it all in or didn't she care that Shelley was missing?

She felt cold, her arms beginning to numb in the darkness of the pit she and her colleagues had been thrown in. Her eyes found it hard to focus on anything much, let alone see any of them. It had all happened so quickly. No one had suspected that they had been being watched for the twelve hours that they had been there. Major Slater was the first one to see them, around ten Jaffa coming towards them. It had been over in seconds. They were no match for them. Shelley had tried to get to the gate but had been overpowered and had managed to sprain her ankle in the process. It still hurt like hell and it had begun to balloon up and swell. They'd been offered water and Major Slater had ripped apart of his jacket and wrapped it around her ankle. It was a poor excuse at first aide, but it had been the best he could do in the circumstances. She winced in pain from time to time, trying not to let the others see how much it was bothering her. Shelley was the only non-military person on the team and sometimes she felt that she owed it to them to be more military minded. Having been brought up with certain members of her family in the services, it was easy for her to fake it a little sometimes. Although lately, Jack had been training her and she was getting pretty good at beating the crap out of the training dummy in the gym back at the base. Every non-military personnel had to have some kind of weapons training and Jack had supervised hers. She found it difficult at first, reliving some past events in her life. Events that she still found hard to cope with and events that still haunted her and Jack. But, she had gotten through it, with his help. She found using a zat the easiest, instead of a gun. So, she had one at her side at all times when she was off world. But it did little to protect her when the Jaffa captured them.

Shelley looked up as she began to see the sun rise through the bars of the window of their cell. Major Slater looked over at her. He could see the fear on her face. She hadn't been in the firing line quite like this before. Usually when it happened she would be earth side and those she cared for would be in danger. Now it was her turn to be in danger.

"How you doin?" he asked, looking down at her ankle.

A pair of tired green eyes looked up at him.

"I'm okay, I think. Looks like the sun's coming up." Shelley said, gesturing to the sun shining through the bars. "You think they'll try and find us today?"

Slater slumped back down at her side and shook his head slowly.

"I don't know," he whispered.

"They must have realised something's wrong by now." Shelley said.

A deep sigh over took her as the prospect of being rescued by her brother sunk in. Now he was going to play to over-protective brother one more time and he was getting paid to do it. All of her life he'd been there picking up the pieces of her life when she got into trouble. But this was by far, the biggest trouble she had ever been in.

Sam stood in the gear-up room, waiting for someone to force her to leave the safety of the base. The prospect of moving right now was something she didn't want to happen. It was the thought of finding SG7 that shook her whole being. What if they were dead? What if Shelley was dead and she never got to tell her how she really felt? She would be gone and her heart would be broken.

Sam looked at herself in the huge mirror. She hadn't looked like herself for the last few days and she hadn't certainly felt like herself. A big part of her was missing. Some how the prospect of spending the rest of her life without Shelley filled her with dread. A few years ago, a part of her self was happy to think that she would spend her life alone. Why did she need someone anyway? Her work would have surely got in the way of any relationship she'd tried to have. But since she'd been with Shelley, she had woken up every day knowing that someone loved her. And she'd seen the love in those green eyes every day. But what if that love had been extinguished by whatever power was responsible for the recent deaths of their colleagues? How could she cope with that? She already knew that the colonel thought that she didn't care about the fact that SG7 was missing. How could she tell him that the mere thought of it made her feel sick inside? That if she thought about it for too long, that she wanted to cry and let it all out. But she couldn't. She couldn't be so emotional at a time like this. She was Major Samantha Carter, scientist, professional, detached in her way at looking at things. Or so she thought. No, she had to be the strong one. She had to remain in control of her emotions. But it wasn't easy. People were already talking as though SG7 were dead. Inside, Sam thought that she would know if Shelley was gone. If she had been killed in whatever attack that had befallen her and her team. If that was the case, her lover was dead too. It didn't matter if they had split up. It didn't matter that Shelley thought that she didn't care for her. Sam knew the truth.

"Major Carter." A voice boomed behind her.

Sam's head looked up, seeing Teal'c's reflection in the mirror in front of her. She turned her head slowly, only to look at him for a moment.

"Colonel O'Neill and Jonas Quinn are ready to depart," he said.

Her whole body turned slowly, stepping forward towards him. As she got nearer, he placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, seeing that sincere, caring expression on his face. Teal'c didn't have to say anything; he was a man of few words. But when he gave you that look, you knew what it meant. And so did Sam.

The mid-day sun began to cool, as it seemed to settle behind the palace they were being held in. Major Slater looked at his team. They were anxious that help wasn't going to come for them. That they would remain prisoners to who had captured them. The major had been curious. He hadn't recognised any of the markings on the Jaffa they had encountered nor had any of the others. Maybe this was someone new? But it didn't matter. They were in trouble, serious trouble.

He felt sorry for Shelley the most. Not only because of her sprained ankle but because she wasn't used to situations like this. He couldn't help but think of her as an outsider. It was horrible to think that. Sometimes he thought he resented her because she was an O'Neill, on the inside at least. Then there were her relationships. Married to Daniel Jackson and now lover to Major Carter, or so he thought. He'd heard the rumours, who hadn't? But he didn't know if they were true or not. Not that would make any difference at all. Shelley was an excellent addition to his team. They all got on pretty well, despite being military they socialised from time to time. Notable now, when SG1 was off world.

Everyone liked Shelley. She was funny, intelligent, caring, a perfect addition to his team. But as he looked at her, looked at them, he felt as though he'd let them down. After all he was in command of SG7 and it was his responsibility to keep them safe. Then the Jaffa came and they were all thrown into this hellhole. The question everyone kept asking them selves was which Goa'uld was responsible for holding them captive.

Shelley stood shakily on her feet, peering out of the bars. She felt slightly claustrophobic and the constant pain in her ankle wasn't making her feel any better. Neither did the thought that she wouldn't see her little girl again.

"She'd be having her afternoon nap about now," she whispered.

Shelley felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see her friend and team mate Captain Atkins, also known as Victoria, or Vicki as Shelley called her.

"Try not to think about it." Vicki said.

"I've tried not too."

They both sat back down on the cold concrete floor of their shared cell.

"I know it's hard. Major Slater has two little boys and Lieutenant Fisher's wife is five months pregnant."

Shelley looked across the cell at the lieutenant, his mind on other things. They were all thinking about loved ones. Then for a moment, Shelley thought about Sam and about how much she missed her. She'd tried not too. Their last meeting had been an emotional one. All Shelley wanted right now was to hold her, to tell her that whatever was wrong that they could work it out. Shelley loved her so much to let her go so easily. Now it looked as though it was out of their hands. As a chain of events had been put in place that would determine if they would remain apart.

"What about you," Shelley asked. "When am I going to meet this mystery man?"

Her friend's eyes lit up and a smile appeared on her face.

"I don't know. When he's ready I guess."

"You think he could be the one?"

Vicki smiled.

"If we get out of this, then yes. I think he might be the one."

"That's great, I'm pleased for you. We all need someone in our lives."

Major Slater looked up quickly as he heard staff and weapons fire coming from the outside of the room to their cell. Shelley heard the unmistakable voice of her brother shouting. The voices were muffled and dull but clearly the sign that help was coming. Atkins helped Shelley to her feet. More weapons fire made the walls shake. More shouting followed as the main door opened and two figures entered.

"Major Slater?" A male voice asked, as he came into view.

Jonas Quinn stood on the outside of the bars that housed his captive colleagues. The walls rumbled around them as the battle to free them outside continued. Jonas looked into the cell, seeing Shelley hobbling around.

"What happened?"

Shelley shook her head and sighed as she leaned against Captain Atkins.

"I sprained my ankle trying to get to the gate when the Jaffa attacked. I didn't get very far."

Shelley's attention wondered from Jonas as the figure of Major Carter appeared in front of her. Shelley's breath began to quieten as Sam smiled at her. A feeling of relief shook Sam's whole body. She wanted to hold her, to make her feel safe for a moment but she couldn't. Sam was still hurt by Shelley leaving her. But she couldn't deny that there was still something between them, something deeper than just physical attraction. Their connection broke as Shelley's eyes went back to Jonas.

"Stand back." he said.

Jonas took out the zat from his side and pointed it at the lock on the metal gate. It made a crackling noise as the lock released, freeing SG7. Captain Atkins helped Shelley out of the cell.

"You okay?" Sam asked.

Shelley nodded slowly. Carter took Shelley's other arm and draped it over her shoulder, helping her to walk a little more steadily. Shelley felt Sam's hand on her waist. She turned her head to look up at her, her eyes showing everything she felt inside. It was something unspoken.

They all turned, following Jonas to where Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c were laying down cover fire. But the constant weapons fire had stopped and an eerie quiet gripped them. As they got out into the open, a heavy group of Jaffa greeted them, three of them held Teal'c in an arm lock while Jack lay on the floor, half unconscious from the zat blast he had just taken. He looked up at the other's shaking his head at Jonas who was getting ready to try and help him.

The Jaffa lead them back in to the cell. Teal'c and Jonas took Shelley's arm each and helped the limping botanist down on to crate in the middle of the tiny room.

"Thanks for the rescue Jack, really big help." Shelley said.

A groggy Jack slumped down against a wall next to his sister. Rescuing his Shelley and SG7 had seemed like an okay plan but they hadn't counted on the 50 or so Jaffa waiting for them. Apart from Shelley's sprained ankle they all seemed to be okay. Well as okay as they could be having been held in a small, stinking cell for the last day or so.

Sam sat on the opposite side of the cell. She wanted to ask Shelley how she was but since they'd split up she didn't know how to approach her. Sam wanted to seem caring but also wanted to still have that professional detachment she was always so fond of without sounding too cold.

"Don't you want to talk to her?" Jonas asked.

The young alien had walked across the cell to where Carter was sitting and had sat down without her even noticing. She had been too busy looking at Shelley. For a moment before looking away, Shelley caught her stare and looked away her self.

"Of course I want to talk to her. But what do I say?"

"You could start by asking how she is, then go on from there!"

Jonas smiled at his friend, colleague. He'd seen how Shelley's capture had affected her over the last few days. He was one of a few who knew about them and about their recent break-up. He'd also seen how Shelley had been before her off world assignment. She'd been quiet, distant and a little angry. Even now, Shelley could barely look at Sam. Even if she did want too.

Jack finally shook off his confused state, patted Shelley on the shoulder and went to check on the other member's of SG7. Shelley watched him as he began to talk to Major Slater. A sharp pain shot through her ankle and she winced in pain. Sam looked up, hearing her displeasure. She stood up too and walked across to her, kneeling down besides her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Shelley looked up, meeting with Sam's eyes. The redhead shook her head slowly.

"It really hurts now!" she whispered.

Sam looked down and lifted up Shelley's leg, placing it on her lap. She picked up her foot and slowly began to unlace her boots, taking the boot off carefully. The redhead pulled an uncomfortable face as Sam peeled off the bandage that Major Slater had made for her ankle. She ran her finger across the bump on the ball of Shelley's ankle and back across the heel. Shelley shivered at feeling Sam's touch for the first time in nearly a week. Her head looked up, her eyes locking with the blonde's. Sam wanted to say something else to her but what could she say? Their conversation was limited to 'How are you' and 'Is your ankle feeling better' they couldn't really have a proper conversation with all these people around. Sam had decided that when they got some time alone together, if they got some time alone together that she would explain why she had been acting strangely lately and tell her that she wanted her back.

Both of them looked up, with everyone else as they heard the cell doors clatter open. Two Jaffa and a seriously evil looking man entered the small cell. His bony finger pointed out at Shelley.

"Bring her!"

The two Jaffa moved across the small room and picked her up off the ground, pushing Sam out of the way in the process. She stood up quickly, watching as the colonel tried to set his sister free, but failing.

"Wait! Take me instead." Carter shouted.

The evil man looked back for a moment. The remaining member's of SG1 just looked at each other then at her.

"Carter!" Jack said.

"It's okay sir."

Sam turned back to look at Shelley, seeing the redhead shake her head.

"Don't." she whispered.

Sam hesitated. She desperately wanted to touch her, to touch her face for just a moment. But couldn't.

"It's okay."

Instead she gave her a warm smile.

"Bring them both." The man shouted.

Two more Jaffa that had been waiting outside entered the cell. They took Sam's arm, dragging her out of the cell as the other two did the same to Shelley.

Teal'c looked across the cell at Colonel O'Neill who could not believe that this was happening. He'd come to rescue SG7 and his sister but ended up having her and a member of his team taken away for god knows what reason. They had to get out of there, and soon.

Sam looked down at Shelley as she was pushed down next to the redhead.

"Are you okay," she whispered.

Shelley nodded slowly and managed to pull herself up off the ground. They were in a large room, walls decorated in rich fabrics and brightly lit. In front of them was a small vat, like a small fish tank. Sam began to shake, she could feel it, sense what was inside it and feared what was about to happen. She turned to Shelley, fear in her eyes. But she couldn't let it show. Sam was more scared for her partner than she was for her own safety. That's why she had asked to be taken in her place. But in the end, Shelley had been taken anyway.

Shelley's eyes were fixed on the evil looking man that had taken her and Sam from the cell. Shelley realised that he must have been some kind of priest. Sam watched as he circled around them and then walked back to the vat. He put in his hand and pulled out a screeching Goa'uld symbiote. It wiggled around in his hand, desperate to find a new home. The priest moved towards them, the Goa'uld clutched in his hand. He nodded to the Jaffa who grabbed hold of Sam and Shelley.

The priest lowered his hand, showing the Goa'uld his choices. It screeched between the two. Shelley looked at Sam. She'd never been so scared and began to shake.

"Close your eyes!" Sam whispered. "Please."

Shelley did as she was told, then everything faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He looked up across the room at Teal'c and Jonas and the rest of SG7. He'd sat in his own corner for the last ten minutes, silently. No one said anything to him. They knew he was worried about Shelley and what was going to happen. Teal'c hadn't recognised any of the markings on the Jaffa nor on the priests who had taken away their colleagues.

There were voices around her, talking, crying, and screaming! Only one voice was clear enough for her to hear. The voice was familiar, comforting to her. 'I'm coming' It whispered.

Shelley's eyes opened slowly, the voices were finally disappearing. She was still in the room the Jaffa had brought her to. Her body felt different, her ankle didn't hurt anymore. But there was still something else, warmth that she hadn't felt for a few days, the heat from someone's body. Shelley moaned lightly as her eyes focussed on the figure standing next to her.

"Sam!"

Shelley looked more at her surroundings. She was lying on a large bed. The sheets were real silk; in reds and blues. Then the look at herself, dressed in something that left little to the imagination. It was black, with red fabric embroidered around the tight fitting bodice, which seemed to fit perfectly.

Her eyes drifted back up to look at Sam and smiled. The blonde stood silently, looking down at her.

"What happened?" she asked as she sat up.

Sam didn't say anything. A feeling of fear gripped Shelley, as Sam's eyes grew cold and glowed back at her.

Jack looked up at two Jaffa appeared in front of the cell and entered. They moved directly towards him and pulled him up.

"I think this is when they take me to their leader." he said.

One of the Jaffa looked around the cell. He stood in front of Jonas and pulled him up too.

Shelley got up off the bed quickly and ran to the corner of the room. Her whole body was shaking so much that she felt sick inside.

"Stay the hell away from me."

Sam/Goa'uld moved forward, the long dress she was wearing followed behind her, trailing along the floor of her chamber. There was a strange look on her face. Mixtures of concern with an underlining look of terror and menace. Shelley closed her eyes. That one voice began to fill her mind again. She could barely make it out or understand. She took a step forward, out of the corner.

The doors to the chamber opened and the two Jaffa, plus Jack and Jonas entered the room.

"Shelley!" Jack shouted.

Shelley looked up. Her anxiety was still plain on her face.

'Carter!"

The redhead shook her head and fell in a heap against the wall, several frightened tears falling down her face.

"It's not her Jack," she whispered. "It's not her."

Shelley fell back against the wall and sat on the floor, shaking. The woman standing in front of her began to turn slowly. The Jaffa pushed Jack and Jonas down onto the ground before her.

"Kneel before your queen!"

"Queen?" Jonas repeated.

She looked down at them, scowling at their ignorance.

"Isis." One of the Jaffa said.

Sam's eyes glowed white then faded. Jonas shook his head slowly.

"Isis is dead."

"You're mistaken." Isis answered.

Jack looked passed her and stared at his sister. Shelley was sitting in the corner, still in shock.

"If you hurt her, I'll…."

Jonas could feel Jack's anger.

"I did not harm her." Isis said.

The Goa'uld gestured to her guards and they strode across the room and picked up Shelley. They dragged her back to where the colonel and Jonas were kneeling and forced her down. Isis walked over to them. Slowly she looked down at Shelley. The redhead's eyes made contact then quickly looked away. Isis reached out her hand, bringing up Shelley's face to look at her again.

"You refuse to look upon your queen?"

"I see no queen," Shelley said. "I see a parasite that preys upon innocents."

Isis pushed Shelley away, making her fall back.

"Insolence."

Shelley was defiant. All she saw was this creature that had taken her lover by force.

"You will learn to worship your god!"

"I wouldn't count on that." Jack said.

Isis turned her back on them, the train of her dress following behind her. Jack looked at his sister. He couldn't tell how she was coping. It had been a shock. He had expected Shelley to be chosen. Maybe it would have been better for her if she had have been. Then she wouldn't have to go through this. He believed that Sam would have been able to handle these circumstances better.

"I expected more. The host did not resist, which disappointed me." Isis said.

The redhead looked away. The last thing she wanted to hear was that Sam had offered herself in Shelley's place.

"She's strong, she'll fight you," she said.

"Fool! You're mistaken. She was weak. Offering herself freely in your place. Pathetic creature," she hissed.

Shelley shook her head. In the years she had known her and the year she had loved her, Shelley had never known Sam be weak in anything.

"No matter what you say, I'll never believe that," she said.

Isis signalled to one of her Jaffa, who grabbed Shelley by the arm, forcing her down in front of his queen. The Goa'uld circled the redhead, letting her arm drape around her waist.

"I can see why my host finds you so fascinating."

She stood behind her, breathing down Shelley's neck, making her shiver. Her head kept telling her that it wasn't real. But feeling her body pressed against her, it all felt so terrifyingly real.

As she closed her eyes for a moment, she could hear that voice again. It was in her head. Probably a figment of her imagination or a product of whatever the Goa'uld had done to her before she had awoken.

Jack looked up at her, wondering what she was doing and what the Goa'uld was going to do with them all.

"I have very big plans for you," Isis said, whispering in Shelley's ear.

She turned to Jack and Jonas, delighting in their horror.

"Take them back to their cell. And take her to my bed chamber."

Jonas squirmed in the Jaffa's grip. He and Jack watched as they dragged Shelley away first. Watching as she still fought to get away. Struggling in vain.

"If you hurt her," Jack said.

Isis turned, smiling at them.

No matter how hard he tried, all he could see was Carter.

"I'd be more concerned about your own wellbeing than for hers," she said.

She turned, the long train of her gown flowing behind her, following the Jaffa out of the room. Part of Jack knew that whatever part of Sam was in there, she wouldn't let anything happen to his sister.

Shelley felt her body begin to shake as the Jaffa left her alone.

She sat on the edge of the bed, tears falling from her eyes as the enormity of the situation began to hit her. The one she loved was gone. Shelley hadn't been around when Sam had been host to Jolinar but they had talked about it. But she had been Tok'ra and not Goa'uld. The thought of it filled Shelley with dread. She didn't know what was going to happen. Only hoping that a rescue would come sooner rather than later. And that her brother had a plan.

Shelley wiped her tears away with the hem of the skirt she was wearing. Finding it far too frilly for her liking. The last thing she wanted was for the Goa'uld to see her crying. Needing to be strong for Sam! She was still in there, somewhere.

For some reason she thought about Daniel. It was strange that she should think about how he must have felt when Shar're was taken as a host. The total loss and devastation at not being able to do anything. The first night they had spent together, they had talked about Shar're and the Goa'uld and how the host can be conscious of their surroundings. And how that had scared him the most. That they could see all the horror they were inflicting on others and powerless to stop them. Shelley didn't want that for Sam, not again. Although this was different.

She looked around the room, trying to figure out if there was a way to escape. Shelley had only ever had basic training at the SGC, because she wasn't supposed to be in combat situations. SG7 was a science unit. They had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shelley didn't want to be put in that situation again. It was time for her to make a stand.

Her head quickly looked back at the door as they were flung open. A startled Shelley stood, seeing Isis enter. But there was something different, she was carrying a p90, looking around in a panic.

"Shelley," she shouted. "Thank god you're okay," in her own voice.

Shelley stood, confused. Sam was still wearing the dress she had seen her/Isis wear only minutes before. Sam raced over, dropping the gun to her side as she reached out to touch Shelley's face.

"Did they hurt you?" she asked.

The redhead shook her head. She held Sam's hand in hers; trying to remember the last time they touched.

"I don't understand, how..."

"It doesn't matter."

"Baby," Shelley whispered.

Shelley moved away, looking around, making sure the Jaffa weren't outside. But they were nowhere to be seen.

"We have to get out of here before the Jaffa comes back. And we have to find Jack and the others,"

As she turned back, she noticed that Sam hadn't moved. Still standing by the bed with an extraordinary look on her face. A smirk that made Shelley very nervous.

"Sam?"

Isis shook her head.

"Guess again," she said, taunting Shelley. "Did you like my little game?"

Shelley was frozen to the spot.

"Why are you tormenting me like this? Why don't you just let us go? I'm sure we can find a willing host amongst your followers!" Shelley said.

"Because it's fun! Seeing your face, hearing her scream inside my head."

She finally moved her feet, walking the short distance towards the Goa'uld.

"Please, let her go. Take me, I won't resist you,"

Isis stood in front of her, looking her up and down.

"Humans are so fascinating. Willing to give yourself for another. For your lover. I hope that you are worth it."

Isis turned around picking something up from the table behind her. Shelley watched at it came into view, knowing what it was. Being familiar with it from the one occasion at the hands of the Shar're clone a few years earlier.

The Goa'uld's eyes widened and glowed as the panic on her captive's face sunk in.

"You know what this is?" she asked.

Shelley nodded.

"It's a torture device,"

Isis shook her head.

"I prefer to call it an incentive. You tell me what I want to know, or watch as the woman you love gives you a little incentive,"

Shelley's head tuned as two Jaffa entered the room from behind a secret panel in the wall. They forced her down by her shoulders, holding her tight.

"Now,". Isis said. "Where is Osiris?"

Shelley looked up at her, not having heard that name for a long time! Daniel had told her about Osiris and Sarah Gardner. How Osiris had chosen her as a host and not another man. But Sam already knew this. Why did she need Shelley to tell her.

"Sam knows about Osiris, then so should you? Why do you need me?"

"Wrong answer!" Isis said.

She reached out her hand, letting the ribbon device's energy flow. Shelley was consumed with intense pain. The Jaffa holding her in place, forcing her to take the pain. The redhead looked up, seeing Sam/Isis in front if her. Looking into her eyes, hoping to find the woman she loved was still in there, somewhere.

"I don't know where he is," Shelley said, trying not to collapse.

Isis removed her hand, letting Shelley breathe for a moment. For only a moment!

"I don't believe you," she said, resuming Shelley's torture at the hand of the ribbon device.

Shelley couldn't bear the pain any longer. Tears began to roll down her face.

"Please, stop... Please." she begged.

She lowered her head, not wanting to look at Isis any longer. Finding her face more unbearable than the pain. Isis had been right. Seeing the woman she loved inflicting such pain on her was more than she could stand.

"Then tell me where Osiris is!"

Isis' voice became loud and commanding. So loud, it made even the Jaffa shake.

"I DON'T KNOW," Shelley shouted back.

She didn't know where she had found the strength from. Shelley turned her head, now meeting her torturer's stare head on.

"You were married to Daniel Jackson. He knew Osiris' host. He would know where he is and he would have told you,"

Shelley shook her head.

"I don't know. Please you have to believe me. I don't know."

Isis looked down at her. Surprised by the young woman's resolve to lie to her.

"Perhaps you need a little more persuading."

Isis bent down to Shelley's level, pulling up her face to meet with hers. Pressing against her lips. Kissing her with heat. Shelley wanted to let the kiss continue. If Isis didn't speak then she could let herself believe that this was Sam Carter, her Sam. She responded, for a moment, kissing the Goa'uld back, before pulling away.

"No. "

Isis licked her lips, enjoying the thrill of kissing another woman.

"You will tell me what I want to know."

Isis' face became angry. She couldn't tolerate Shelley's defiance any longer. The energy from the ribbon device was more intense than before, making Shelley scream in pain.

"Sam, please. You have to fight her," Shelley said, sobbing uncontrollably.

But her cries fell on deaf ears, only making Isis more angry. The stream from the ribbon device grew even stronger than before.

"I'll make sure she sees you suffer before I kill you. And then bring you back and do it over again until you tell me what I want to know," Isis said, her eyes glowing.

Shelley could feel the life draining from her body. Feeling weak with every passing moment. One last blast from the ribbon device sent her body into shock.

"Sam... Please."

She fell back onto the floor, the pain unbearable.

Isis turned, hearing a commotion and staff weapon fire coming from the secret panel behind her. The two Jaffa that were guarding the entrance fell into the room, staff blasts to their bodies.

The two that were holding Shelley went to their aid. They heard more weapons fire. Not only staff weapon fire but earth technology, gun fire. In a few seconds they joined the other Jaffa on the floor of the chamber.

Isis moved back, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Her eyes lit up as she saw Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill.

"Get the hell away from her," Jack shouted, pointing his zat at Isis.

Shelley looked up at hearing her brothers voice, barely able to recognise him before losing consciousness.

"Teal'c," O'Neill said, pointing towards his sister.

Teal'c knelt down, searching for a pulse.

"She is alive, O'Neill,"

"How did you escape?" Isis asked, turning her attention towards her intruders.

"Let's just say, your followers aren't as loyal as you think," he said.

"You may escape. My host will not," she said, her eyes glowing.

Jack had to make a choice. He looked at Sam/Isis, trying to differentiate between the two of them. What he saw in front of him was Samantha Carter but what she had done to his sister was pure evil, pure Goa'uld. His decision had been made for him. Jack nodded at Teal'c who picked up the unconcious redhead. Teal'c held her in his arms as he carried her towards the the entrance they had burst through moments earlier.

Jack stood in front of Isis, unsure of what to do. He had succeeded in rescuing his sister and SG7 but at what cost. He continued to watch her as he backed up to make his escape.

"Don't even think about it. I won't hesitate "

"Even with this host?" Isis asked.

"Carter would do the same thing if it was any one of us," Jack said as he disappeared.

"JAFFA," Isis screamed.

Several heavily armed guards poured into the room, going to the aid of their queen.

"Get them,"

Isis stomped her foot like a child. Pulling off the ribbon device from her hand and throwing it to the ground. She wasn't used to not getting what she wanted. And then there was the constant noise in her head. Her host becoming more and more aware and more and more loud. Isis had lied to Shelley. Sam had indeed fought her. Was still fighting her.


	3. Chapter 3

SG7 and the other rescue team provided cover fire for O'Neill and Teal'c who was still carrying Shelley in his arms. They finally made it to the gate, hearing weapons fire all around them. Teal'c laid down Shelley at the feet of Captain Atkins, dropping her gun to take care of her. Jack handed Teal'c his staff and both turned to fire on the proceeding Jaffa around them.

"Dial the gate," O'Neill shouted.

Major Slater stepped up to the DHD, punching in the co ordinates to Earth. Stopping every now and again to fire at the Jaffa. Atkins took Shelley by the arm, helping her onto her feet. The groggy redhead began to open her eyes. She looked around her, seeing her friends, colleagues all firing at the surrounding Jaffa.

"Jack," she called out.

O'Neill turned around at hearing his sisters voice. Managing a smile. They all turned at hearing the stargate's event horizon spill out. Jack lifted up his arm, pressing the GDO code onto the machine strapped to it.

"GO," he shouted.

As Shelley turned back, she saw her out the corner of her eyes. The army of Jaffa parted, making way for their queen. Isis strode down between them. That Goa'uld arrogance all too evident.

Several members of SG7 and SG10 had already gone through the gate. Just leaving Shelley, Atkins, Teal'c and O'Neill.

"Teal'c, get her out of here."

O'Neill stared at Isis, remembering what he said to her in her chamber. How he wouldn't hesitate to take her down. But he wasn't sure he could. Isis' smile left him feeling cold. Despite outward appearances, it wasn't Sam Carter anymore.

One shot rang out.

"NOOO," Shelley screamed.

He and Atkins watched as the Jaffa circled Isis, protecting her from any more gunfire.

"NOO!" Shelley screamed again.

Teal'c grabbed hold of her, practically carrying her through the gate. Jack looked back at Isis one last time. He knew that his shot wouldn't have killed her, just needing enough time to make their escape.

Several concerned faces greeted him as he appeared on the ramp, the gate shutting down behind him. He saw Shelley sitting a few feet in front of him, Doctor Fraiser shining a pen light in her eyes.

General Hammond approached him, looking at the chaos.

"Where's Major Carter?" he asked.

Shelley's head turned, staring at the Colonel.

"Carter's... Not herself anymore."

Hammond looked at him, confused.

"She was taken as a host," he managed to say.

Janet looked up, sharing everyone's concern. She looked back at her patient.

"We should get you to the infirmary," she said. "There may be some internal bleeding."

One of her nurses helped her lift Shelley to her feet and sat her on a nearby gurney. Shelley laid back. Janet watched as her friend began to cry, silently. Whatever had happened on that planet, it hadn't been good.

"How?" Hammond asked.

"Sir,"

Hammond looked at O'Neill, Teal'c and SG7, seeing the need for rest and contemplation on their faces.

"Very well. Debrief in 3 hours," he said.

Jack nodded, watching as the medics helped the wounded off the ramp and towards the exit and infirmary. He looked at his sister, still in pain at the hands of Isis and of losing Sam.

Jack sat in the infirmary, at Shelley's bedside. After being admitted, she had fallen asleep. Doctor Fraiser had told him that she was exhausted, mentally and physically. and needed as much rest as possible. Luckily she was still staying at his house and he agreed to look after her. Truth was, he felt guilty. He didn't have to shoot Sam. Hoping that he would have killed the Goa'uld and that she would live. Giving her a chance. Jack knew what it was like, being held prisoner, no means of escape. Powerless. Having some other being use her body for their own purposes. It was something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, let alone someone he cared for.

He looked up as heard footsteps in the corridor. Jonas stood in the doorway, sharing the Colonel's concern. It wasn't just concern for those under his command but for his sister.

"How is she?" Jonas asked...

"Fraiser said that there shouldn't be any lasting effects. She just needs to rest. They're gonna keep her in for a few days,"

"Thats good," Jonas said

Jack looked at him. The look on his face saying it all. That he shouldn't have shot Carter/Isis. That they should have taken her to the Tok'ra.

"The General is waiting for you in the briefing room,"

Jack looked down at his sister who was still sleeping. Whilst she was asleep he could pretend that everything was alright. But as soon as she opened her eyes, there would be the inevitable question! Why did you do it? And no matter what he was going to say to her, nothing would make it better for her. For any of them.

The debrief had turned out as expected. All eyes had been in him. Hammond and decided to contact the Tok'ra, to see if they had any idea that Isis was alive. And that she had taken Samantha Carter has a host. Jack wasn't looking forward to having that conversation either. He would have to tell Jacob that he sacrificed her to save his own sister. Even if a part of him knew that it was what Carter would have wanted. For him to get Shelley as far away from the Goa'uld as possible. It would give Jacob little comfort. Not exactly approving 100% of their relationship in the first place.

O'Neill had made his way back to the infirmary after the debriefing, awaiting he arrival of the Tok'ra and Jacob Carter. He stood in the doorway, expecting to find his sister in the same bed he had left her sleeping in, only half an hour ago.

"Doc," he said. "Where is she?"

Janet looked in the empty bed, wondering exactly the same thing.

"I checked on her myself only ten minutes ago. She was fast asleep." she said.

"Well, she isn't asleep now." O'Neill said.

Janet picked up the red phone that was hanging on the wall in front of her.

Jack stared at the empty bed. This hadn't been the first time she had disappeared like this. Not that long ago Shelley had practically barricaded herself in her apartment, pregnant and scared. And it had been Sam who had spent a day with her, talking, listening to her as she broke down over the loss of Daniel.

Shelley sat on her own, feeling the coldness of the room on her skin. Just wearing the gown Janet had put her in. Her body felt as cold as her soul. Closing her eyes, all she could see was the Goa'uld, torturing Sam from the inside. Making her watch. Just as she said she would!

When she'd awoken in the infirmary, she had heard some of the nurses talking. About how Sam had been taken as a Goa'uld host. When Shelley had been drifting in and out of sleep, she hoped that it had been something she had dreamed. Not wanting any of it to be true. How could she have lost someone else she loved? It felt as though she was cursed. That something in the universe was determined she would be unhappy, unloved and alone.

Shelley looked up at the locker in front of her, staring at Sam's name. Only a few feet away was Daniel's. Untouched for so long. The locker had been emptied. She couldn't keep going in there seeing it all the time. Wondering, hoping that he would come back. She had learned to accept it a long time ago, that he wasn't. That she would be alone, except for her daughter. Mia had been one of the people that had gotten her through those hard few months. The other being Sam. When Shelley looked back on it, it seemed inevitable that there was something between them. After their first night together, Shelley had tried to deny what she was feeling. But hadn't been able to for long. She had fallen in love with Sam. Then had come the hard part, telling their friends, family. But nothing else mattered as long as they were together. Now by some cruel twist of fate, they had been separated.

Shelley closed her eyes as the tears fell slowly from her eyes. She heard that voice again. "I'm coming," Her eyes opened quickly, expecting to see someone standing behind her. But there was no one. She was alone.

It scared her a little. It hadn't been the first time she had heard the voice. Not only in Isis' bed chamber but since the birth of her daughter. she didn't know if it was her mind playing tricks on her. But after Daniel left, Shelley thought that she was going crazy. Now she had heard it twice in as many days. Maybe it was just stress. Stress of losing Daniel, at being a single parent and now, losing the woman she loved to the Goa'uld. It was just stress!

Then Shelley heard the door open behind her.

"You know it's bad for your eyes, sitting in the dark!"

Her head turned, seeing her brother standing a few feet away.

"No, that's sitting too close in front of the television," she said.

"Damn, so close,"

Jack walked across the room, sitting on the bench next to her, with a forced smile on his face.

"What are you doing in here, Shell? You should be in the infirmary, resting. You known how Fraiser gets when she misplaces a patient."

"I just needed to clear my head."

"And the gear room is your best place?' he asked.

"I don't know. Seemed as good a place as any."

He followed her stare, looking at Carter's name on the locker.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked. " Why do I keep losing the people I love? First there was my mom and Dad didn't want me. And Daniel, now I've lost Sam,"

"You haven't lost Carter. She's..."

"You saw her Jack. The look on Isis' face. That wasn't Sam."

"She is in there somewhere,"

"How can you be so sure? And how could Isis be alive. I thought her Goa'uld was found dead in a jar!"

"I wish I knew. But the fact is that she is and we have to accept that..."

"You did talk to Hammond about going back for her, didn't you?"

Jack looked at his sister, seeing the hope on her face. His silence gave her the answer Shelley didn't want to hear. She stood quickly, pacing the room angrily.

"Jack!"

"Hammond doesn't want to mount a rescue until we know who we're dealing with. That's why we contacted the Tok'ra."

Shelley stopped pacing. She didn't want to have to face Sam's dad. Jacob hadn't been so understanding of their relationship. Not unlike his Tok'ra symbiote, Selmak, who was very understanding. There had been same sex relationships in the Tok'ra for as long as he had been alive. It wasn't that uncommon, if the host died and the symbiote is placed in a person of the opposite sex, for them to continue their relationship. It all depended on the host itself.

"They might know more about Isis than we do," Jack said.

"Why didn't Daniel know about her? He should have known."

"Despite how smart Daniel thought he was, he didn't know everything!" Jack said.

Shelley smiled.

"We have to get her back, Jack. I can't..."

She stopped for a moment, trying to choose her words.

"I can't live without her. I love her!"

"I know you do!"

"Im not going to lose someone else."

Shelley felt her legs begin to wobble. Still feeling weak from her torture. Jack managed to grab hold of her before she collapsed. He sat her back down on the bench.

"You are going back to the infirmary and do everything Fraiser tells you," he said.

Jack held her hand, the brotherly thing to do.

"And that's an order,"

And then the superior thing to do. He never liked to boss her about. Just only when she needed it.

"Okay, okay."

"You stay here, I'll get someone to take you there."

Shelley looked up at him, disappointed that he wasn't taking her.

"You're not coming." she asked.

He shook his head.

"Jacob should be here soon,"

Shelley understood why he felt he had to be there. Because he blamed himself, just as much as Shelley blamed herself for what happened.

"I'll see you in the infirmary later,"

Shelley nodded and smiled as he held her hand for a moment. She looked back at him as he left the room. Her whole body felt strange, tingling. The after affects of the ribbon device still playing havoc on her body. Or so she thought. It had been a sensation she had experienced before, after Daniel's ascension. Having been sure that he was still around!

She stood up quickly, opening Sam's locker and putting on her jacket over her infirmary day wear, then left the gear room before her escort arrived. Not being sure where she was going, until she got there.

Several members of the SGC had passed her, on her way to level 16. As soon as she stepped off the elevator, it clicked in her mind where she was going.

Shelley stood in front of the huge locked doors. Losing count the number of times she had been inside that room over the last 2 and half years. It's had been locked and sealed at her own request. The thought of going in there again had almost broken her heart and now she wanted back in!

Her hand reached up, punching in the code on the side panel. She sighed in relief as it unlocked and slid open with a thud.

She hesitated before going inside. It had been a long time since she'd been in Daniel's office. Not wanting to deal with the feelings she still had for him. Although her love had diminished as she had fallen in love with Sam. But was still something. He was still Mia's father and she would never deny her knowledge of him, when she was older.

Finally her feet carried her over the threshold. She looked around, surprised that nothing had changed, even though it had been locked for over 18 months.

Shelley didn't know what she was looking for or why she was even there. Something had just told her that she should be!

She looked around, her eyes trying to avoid the photographs on Daniel's desk. The last thing she wanted to remember was how happy they were. And how much it had destroyed her when he left. All she wanted to think of now was how to get Sam back, away from that Goa'uld.

Shelley opened drawer after drawer, trying to find something to help her.

"Come on Daniel," she shouted. "Help me. Please. You owe me, damn it!"

Shelley was screaming into an empty room, feeling hopeless. Part of her had hoped that the voice in the back of her mind was Daniel. Giving her a clue, anything. Helping her get back the woman she loved.

Finally she sat on that empty chair, her eyes finally laying to rest on those photographs. One in particular made her look more closely. It was a picture of their wedding, at the reception. She and Daniel looked happy but the person standing behind them didn't. It was Sam, looking at the two of them, as though her heart was breaking inside. Shelley picked it up, running her finger against Sam's face. Now it was Shelley's heart that was breaking.

The last 18 months of her life had been a roller coaster of emotions. After Daniel, she never thought that she could be happy again. Then love had come unexpectedly! Falling in love with her friend had been even more unexpected. Their relationship had been so intense at first, until the moment she had whispered those words, I LOVE YOU. Then everything had fallen into place.

She let out her frustrations and dropped the picture hard onto the table in front of her.

"Why won't you help me?" she shouted. "Please... I love her."

Everything felt as though it was happening in slow motion, even though she wasn't even moving. There was a calmness in the room, her whole body relaxed. But a feeling of familiarity came over her. Shelley closed her eyes for a moment, opening them again.

"Hello, Shelley," he said, a small smile on his face.

"Daniel," she whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Not for one moment did Shelley ever believe that she would see him again. Just hoping that he would help her. She never bargained on this.

She looked at him. Daniel was wearing a white jumper. Looking smart for an ascended being.

"Why am I here?" she asked. "I assume you're the reason I'm in here."

"And I thought I was being subtle."

"Not when the idea just pops into your head. Are you going to tell me or do I have to keep looking for whatever it is?"

"What, no hello Daniel? How have you been Daniel?"

"Hello Daniel, how have you been?" she said sarcastically. She definitely was Jack O'Neill's sister.

Daniel smiled at her.

"Are you going to help me?" she asked.

There was a long pause before Daniel answered. She didn't even know why she had asked him. His response was always going to be the same.

"I can't Shelley, I'm sorry. We can't interfere." he said.

"Can't or won't?"

Shelley stood up, moving closer towards him, her curiosity getting the better of her. She reached out her hand and then stopped.

"Does it matter?" Daniel asked.

The redhead sighed heavily having become tired of his answering a question with a question. It was all very ascended being of him.

"Of course it matters. You can't because you're not supposed to interfere or you won't because..."

She wanted to finish that sentence but found herself scared. In front of her stood, legally, her husband.

"Because you're in love with her." Daniel finished for her.

Daniel found it difficult. His wife was in love with another woman. Of course he knew about Sam's feelings for Shelley and had always known. There wasn't anything he could do to change them. But he never thought they would be reciprocated. For the time he had been away, he hoped that Shelley would meet someone she could be happy with.

"Yes."

"It's because I can't interfere."

Shelley's eyes began letting her emotions show, as she began to cry.

"Daniel, this is Sam! You helped Jack and Teal'c. Why not her? Why not Sam?"

"Because she's a Goa'uld, Shelley. Any interference might change everything."

"Damned ancients and your holier than thou attitude. You could interfere you just choose not to in case it interrupts your own personal little world. You sit back, watching, letting the Goa'uld destroy everything. Even when it affects those you're supposed to care for."

"Shelley." he whispered.

"No Daniel. If you're not going to help me, just go." She said turning away.

She was angry. How could he have denied her help. As she turned back, she knew that he was gone. Shelley stared at the now empty space in front of her! Her wart breaking all over again.

Shelley closed her eyes, tiredness now taking over her body. Suddenly there was a noise behind her. From behind the desk, a small red notebook fell to the floor.

"Thank you." she whispered, to another empty room.

Jack stood in the middle of the room, watching as Jacob Carter made his way from the gate room, up the spiral staircase to the briefing room. He'd gone over it a million times in his head. How he could have fired a warning shot, missing her completely. But his hatred towards the Goa'uld had boiled to the surface. For what she had done to his sister and to Sam.

He turned his head as he heard Hammond and Jacob enter the room behind him. His body turned slowly. Jack looked at them, clear that the general had already filled him in on what had happened. The anguish on his face.

"Jacob." he said.

"What the hell happened, Jack?" he asked.

This was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do, he had told families that they'd lost a loved one but never anything like this.

"We had no idea there was a new Goa'uld out there. If we had we would have been more careful." Hammond said.

"That's why you're here. Do you know anything about this Goa'uld, Isis?"

"Jack...Jack..."

They all heard shouting coming from down the corridor, seeing Shelley running towards them. Still wearing Sam's coat over the infirmary gown, looking like an escaped mental patient.

"I thought I told you to go back to the infirmary." Jack said.

He looked down at the book she was holding in her hand. The same book that had fallen on the floor of Daniel's office. She stood there, holding it out to her brother and then looked around at Jacob.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, I'm fine." she said, stuttering.

Something wasn't right and they could all see it. Jack took the notebook from her and opened it up.

"Daniel didn't believe that it was Isis you guys found in the canopic jar a few years ago. He believed it was one of her servants. She forced them to trade places."

"But Osiris was deffinitely in the other."

Shelley nodded.

"Yeah, turns out they weren't as devoted as everyone thought."

"Why didn't Daniel tell me this before?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask him."

Then she stopped, holding her head, beginning to feel dizzy.

"Jack! I don't... I don't..."

This time he didn't react quick enough to catch her as she fell to the floor. He raced over, checking her pulse.

"Get a medic!" he shouted.

Jacob stood over them, watching as Jack worried about his sister. Just as he was worried about his daughter. Hearing the news that Sam had been taken, again, as a host was unbearable. As a Tok'ra host, Jacob knew first hand how cruel and down right evil the Goa'uld could be. Especially to their hosts. Torturing them from the inside out. Reliving their past glories and the killings of countless innocents. Usually including the families of their hosts. He could only imagine what torture Isis was inflicting on his daughter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

**The memories of a host were usually used against them; to make them powerless when they began to fight back, and Isis' host was no exception.**

**Sam was screaming inside, begging her to stop. What she was showing her was too unbearable to witness any longer.**

**Images from her own life, used against her. Painful memories she wanted to forget; the day her mother died, seeing the look on her father's face as he told her, how she couldn't stop crying after the funeral, and how distant her father had become afterwards.**

**Over and over again, reliving the same memory. **

**That day a few years ago when the woman she loved married someone else, seeing her walk down the isle, looking so radiantly beautiful, her heart sinking when they were announced as man and wife, seeing them kiss. **

**On the hen night Sam had been so close to telling her how she felt, but chickened out. That was why Isis was using it against her; showing her how weak she was for not letting herself succumb to her own desires, for not taking what she wanted. **

**Then the cruelest memory of all. **

**Seeing Shelley battered and bruised after her rape, listening to Janet roll off the list of her injuries, watching as Cecily showed no remorse in what she had done, wanting to hurt her as much has she had hurt Shelley, watching as her life drained from her eyes as she placed her hands around her neck.**

**"Why? Why do you keep showing me this?" Sam asked.**

**Sam's body stood in front of a huge mirror. It was embossed with gold around around the frame. Far too ostentatious for her liking, but she was the host, and Goa'uld did like gold. **

**"To show you your place."**

**As she stood in front of the mirror, she saw herself looking back at her. Hearing her voice, but not her voice at the same time. Her voice was silent. Only the Goa'uld's voice spoke. **

**"There is no escape for you. All the hope you have of them coming for you is misguided, and that you'll be reunited with her is a false hope."**

**"They will come for me. Leave nobody behind." Sam said.**

**"Do you really believe that?" **

**Sam knew that coming back for her would be dangerous, and that Hammond wouldn't allow it until other possibilities had been explored. Sometimes the loss of one person was acceptable, a casualty of war. Whoever it may be. **

**Isis smiled, but her smile soon disappeared as a flash of her hosts memory filled her.**

**Sam smiled as the front door to Shelley's apartment block opened. The redhead trotted out with a nervous smile on her face. She stared at what was in front of her; her girlfriend on that bike. The last time she had been on a bike was when she was 16, and back then it had almost given her father a heart attack.**

**Sam had warned her that the bike would be their mode of transport for the weekend; not entirely sure if Shelley believed her or not. **

**Shelley walked down the path towards her. **

**"Are you ready?" Sam asked.**

**"I guess."**

**"You look nervous."**

**"My dad warned me about boys and bikes..." Shelley said.**

**"Yeah, well, he never said anything about girls and bikes."**

**Shelley smiled.**

**"Come on, it'll be fun."**

**Shelley ran her fingers along the metal frame of the bike, making Sam blush a little. Only a few weeks ago, those fingers had ran down her naked back. **

**"Am I dressed okay?"**

**Sam looked at her, dressed in jeans, blouse and a short leather jacket. Not to mention those knee high boots.**

**"You look perfect."**

**She turned around, picking up the spare helmet.**

**"Here." she said. "Gotta keep you safe."**

**Sam popped the helmet on Shelley's head, giving it one last tap as it fitted into place. **

**"You look so cute."**

**"I don't feel cute!"**

**"It'll be fine. I won't let anything bad happen to you,"**

**Sam cocked her leg, sitting on the front of the bike.**

**"Just put your arms around me and hold on tight."**

**"Not a problem."**

**Shelley nervously got onto the bike. In 15 years time she would be telling Mia the exact same thing her father told her, stay away from boys and bikes. The whole girls and bikes would wait for another time.**

**She wrapped her arms around Sam. Her body shaking a little as the bike began to throb between her thighs. **

**"You ready?" Sam shouted.**

**The redhead squeezed Sam, signaling that she was ready.**

**And she was ready. This was their first real break away, apart from spending the occasional night together. They had decided to take things slowly. After the first rush of emotion and intense sexual release Shelley had begun to get scared. Feeling that they were going too fast, needing to take it slow. They were still dating but the physical side of their relationship had stopped.**

**Sam had wanted to stop before they got to the motel. There was a beautiful lake nearby and she had packed a picnic as a surprise. It had been a while since they had spent any quality time together. Their work and Shelley's home life made it difficult.**

**She stopped the bike on the car park, a short distance away from the lake's shore. Sam could still feel Shelley shaking behind her. Holding her hand as she helped her off the back of the bike and helped her get her helmet off.**

**Shelley flipped back her head, letting her hair fall around her shoulders. That was what Sam didn't miss about having long hair. Instead she just ran her fingers through her own. **

**"You okay Hun?" she asked.**

**"Yeah, why did we stop?" **

**"I thought we could have some lunch by the lake."**

**"You think of everything." Shelley said, kissing Sam softly on the lips. **

**"I do." **

**Sam opened the case on the back end of the bike, taking out a small basket of food and a blanket. **

**"You hungry?" she asked.**

**The redhead nodded, now beginning to feel the emptiness in her stomach. Sam held her hand, leading her towards the water's edge.**

**The lake looked as though it went on forever, the sunlight glistening on the water. Sam laid out the blanket, big enough for two. Placing out the pots of food and a bottle of sparkling water. Preferring to leave the alcohol till they reached the hotel.**

**"This looks amazing," Shelley said. "And you're amazing."**

**She looked at Sam, her hair still messy from the helmet hair. Shelley lay back on the blanket, resting her head on her coat. **

**"This is so nice. It's so peaceful here. I love Mia, but sometimes I just want to relax."**

**"I know what you mean."**

**Sam leant over, holding a strawberry in between her fingers. She placed it against Shelley's lips, smiling in delight as she licked it, before biting the end. **

**"Mmm that's good." Shelley said, with a mouth full of strawberry. **

**Sam leant over, wanting to taste the strawberry for herself. It tasted sweet, almost as sweet as her lovers' lips, who moaned softly. They kissed, Sam laying at her side. Running her hand up Shelley's thigh, stopping at the waste band of her jeans. Their breathing was heavy, as the kiss grew in intensity. **

**Shelley felt Sam's hand under her blouse, knowing where it was going. Since slowing down their sexual encounters she had enjoyed the "heavy petting". It was a huge turn on, Sam turned her on. **

**"Sam" she moaned.**

**Sam's hand returned to the belt on Shelley's jeans, popping open the top button and pulling down the zipper. Suddenly the redhead stopped her, placing her hand on top.**

**"We said that we were gonna take it slow!" she said.**

**"I know and I want to make you happy. It's just that you're so amazing I can't keep my hands off you." Sam said.**

**Sam kissed her again, letting her hand continue it's journey between her lovers' thighs, sliding down the soft fabric of Shelley's panties. Another soft, deeper moan left Shelley's mouth. How could she deny herself this? Deny herself Sam's love. She stopped Sam's hand again. Her breathing heavier than before.**

**"Baby!" she whispered, "I want you too, but not here."**

**By the time they'd packed up the bike and made their way to the hotel, their passion had not diminished. For a brief moment Shelley had thought Sam was taking her to some seedy hotel, when in fact it was very posh.**

**Shelley held the door open as Sam dropped the bags just inside.**

**Before the door had closed behind them, Sam had pounded Shelley's lips with her own, letting their tongues dance around each other.**

**The redhead felt the heat between her legs as Sam pinned her against the door. Shelley tried to count how long it had been, but couldn't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. She unbuttoned her blouse, trying to help Sam out so she could get to where she was going, more quickly.**

**She looked down as Sam knelt in front of her. The blonde looked up at her, the need in both of their eyes now.**

**Sam unbuttoned Shelley's jeans, unzipped the zipper and pulled them down over her hips and down her thighs. She stared once more in delight at the vision in front of her, lemon coloured panties, breathing in Shelley's arousal. Such an intoxicating aroma, and one she would never tire of.**

**She hooked her fingers in the straps of the lemon panties, pulling them down slowly. Her eyes locked with her lovers, watching as Shelley bit her lip, trying, needing to resist the urge to cry out.**

**Shelley's breasts heaved in desire has Sam's hand cupped them, even underneath her bra.**

**"Baby." She moaned.**

**Sam needed her quickly, knowing by her lover's reaction that quickly was the way she needed it too.**

**Shelley wriggled out of her bra, dropping it to the floor, next to the kneeling Sam Carter, who looked at it quickly, smiling.**

**Sam stood, needing to taste more. Shelley's arousal began to deepen has Sam teased out a nipple, licking, biting it, whilst her fingers teased out the other.**

**"Mmmm, baby. Feels so good."**

**Sam smiled.**

**"You're about to feel even better."**

**The blonde dropped to her knees again. Her tongue sought out Shelley's naval, swirling around it, kissing it softly. Shelley held in a breath, feeling the tip of the tongue trail from her naval to the apex of her thigh.**

**"Oh god!" she moaned. "4 weeks, 3 days, 22 hours and 15 seconds since I last felt you." Not being able to keep it in any longer.**

**Finally Sam slid her tongue down the soft hair above Shelley's sex. Still enjoying the aroma and now loving the taste of her lover.**

**Sam lifted Shelley's leg over her shoulder, needing a better vantage point. Shelley being only too willing. Running her fingers through the blondes hair, needing her to stay put, to keep doing exactly what she was doing. As if she couldn't get more aroused, she felt a pair of fingers penetrate her.**

**"Saaaam."**

**The rhythm of her fingers was slow at first, matched only by Shelley' s breathing. As the breaths became more ragged, Sam's fingers delved deeper, harder, faster. Feeling the velvet walls around them begin to close, as the whole of Shelley's body spasmed in ecstasy.**

**"Yesssss".**

**Sam stood, holding Shelley's still orgasming body close to her. They kissed, wrapped in each others arms.**

**"I love you" Shelley said. "I love you so much".**

**Sam smiled. It was all that she wanted to hear. Shelley took her by the hand, leading her in the direction of the bedroom.**

**The spent the next few hours, making love, holding each other, talking to each other. Telling each other how much they loved each other.**

**Isis shook her head, not wanting to see such a loving display.**

**"And that's why I have hope. She is my hope and she will find me".**

**Isis turned away from the mirror. Having heard more than enough from her host. Having seen enough.**


	6. Chapter 6

The gate room and the control room were both deserted. Shelley sat on the steps of the ramp, wondering why she was the only one there. One thought came to mind.

"Am I dead?" she asked an empty room, again.

The last thing she remembered was being in the briefing room, telling her brother and the others about the diary of Daniel's she has found. The one containing his thoughts about Osiris. She didn't tell the others that she had read it all, cover to cover. It hadn't been an easy read. Reading Daniel's inner most thoughts about his previous relationship with Sarah Gardiner. Then on the very last page had been Shelley's name, scribbled in the margins.

She looked down, suddenly feeling the notebook in her hand.

"No, you're not dead." A voice answered.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that the people who have seen you were pretty out of it, almost dead. Teal'c for one and Jack. He was in a very bad place." Shelley said.

"Trust me." Daniel said. "You're not dead. You're..."

"In a coma? Unconscious?"

Daniel nodded. He walked the short distance, sitting next to her on the ramp steps.

"So what am I doing here?"

"Just call it a holding place until you're ready."

Shelley was confused. One thing ascended beings were good at was confusing the hell out of mere mortals.

"Ready for what?" she asked.

Daniel smiled at her. Despite being ascended, he still thought she was cute.

"Until you're ready to listen to want she tried to tell you. Until you're ready to let go."

Shelley shook her head; she had the same confused look on her face Jack usually had when Daniel or Sam told him something technical.

"Don't worry, that's why I'm here." he said.

#

The observation room was dark. Jack sat on the nearest seat, looking down as Janet performed surgery on his sister. Teal'c sat silently next to him. Being as Jack was Shelley's next of kin, he had to sign a consent form before the surgery. He kept moving nearer to the window, trying to get a better look. Being a little squeamish, Jack didn't want to see, but this was his sister. His little sister. The only member of his family left that he actually cared about.

Shelley had come back into his life only a few years ago and had become as close as they ever were when she was growing up, if not closer. He had given her away when she and Daniel got married.

Jack had felt guilty about not being there for her after their father regained legal custody when she was eleven years old. He remembered that day. How she had cried when the social worker had taken her out to the car. Most people always assumed that she was his daughter, because of the 18 year age difference. Jack felt that his father never deserved her; abandoning his own daughter because it was inconvenient, because he couldn't look after her when her mother was killed. Jack had had no other choice but to look after her. He couldn't let her get lost in foster care or be adopted by some family and never see her again. No. She was his sister. He was the one who should look after her. Which is what he had done, and would continue to do for as long as he could.

The door behind him opened and Jack heard someone enter. Jonas stood behind him, an urgent look on his face.

"General Hammond wants to talk to you." He said. "He's getting a team together to go back to rescue Sam."

Jack stood from his chair. Torn over what to do; stay with his sister, or go and bring back Carter? He knew what Shelley would want him to do.

"You and Teal'c go, I'll stay with her."

Jack gave him that look, the look that said thank you without him having to give up his macho exterior. He looked back down at the theatre. Watching as one of the nurses wiped Janet's forehead. Jack took a few steps towards the door, still watching the goings on below him.

"Don't worry, she's in good hands." Jonas said.

Teal'c followed O'Neill out of the observation room. Jonas took up the Colonel's position, perching himself on the front seat, near the window. He would be true to his word and not move until the surgery was over. He would make sure that Shelley was okay, and stay with her until her brother, and hopefully Sam, returned.

#

Daniel looked up for a moment, as though he was listening to someone.

"What is it?" Shelley asked.

Daniel shook his head.

"Its nothing."

"So," Shelley said, "this isn't the part when you tell me I have to free myself of my burden, is it?"

Daniel shook his head.

"No. You just have to listen."

"To what?"

"To what Sam told you."

"She didn't tell me anything."

"Because you weren't listening." Daniel said.

It was as though a light bulb went off in Shelley's head, finally realising what he meant.

"The ribbon device? She sent me a message through the ribbon device just like.."

Daniel nodded.

"You don't remember anything?"

"Not really. Just intense pain and..."

Shelley stood up, trying to remember. But all she could recollect was seeing Sam's face. The face she loved, inflicting so much pain.

She held her head in her hands, overcome with pain, remembering. Her head shook, trying to block it out.

Daniel stood in front of her, placing his hands on top of hers.

"Don't try and fight it." He said.

She felt the touch of his hands on hers for the first time in almost two years. Back then, she would have given anything to feel him, to see him again. But now, she still had great affection for him, but wasn't in love with him anymore. Which saddened her. Once they had been so in love. Now feeling deep down that his ascension was what was meant to be. That being with Sam was meant to be.

Shelley looked at him as though he knew what she was thinking, feeling.

"It's okay." He whispered. "Remember what you were thinking of."

Their surroundings began to change. No longer were they in a deserted gate room but a crowded briefing room. They looked around, recognising everyone. Realising what they all had in common. Ex boyfriends, girlfriends of Shelley, Daniel and Sam's. Anyone they had had ever had feelings for. It was a strange experience. Shelley left Daniel's side as she searched for Sam.

There was another Daniel, who was dressed differently, Martouf and Narim, Shelley's ex boyfriend Nathan. She stopped dead in her tracks has she came face to face with someone from her recent past she would sooner forget.

"Cecily."

Her heart began to pound inside her chest. Frozen to the spot. She stood directly in front of her, the palms of her hands beginning to sweat.

"It's not her, Shelley."

"You know... who she is? What she did to me?"

He held her hand as they made their way through the crowded room. They both stopped has they spotted Sam across the room.

"SAM!" Shelley shouted. "SAM!"

Shelley ran towards her, pushing the crowd, shouting after her lover. She stopped again, sighing in frustration as her attempt to follow Sam was blocked, yet again. Only this time, the face was all too familiar to both Shelley and Daniel.

"Osiris." She said.

"No, it's Sarah."

"What's she doing here?"

"Sam is trying to tell you something."

"I already know Isis is looking for him/her." Shelley said.

"Everyone here represents a part of your past, including me." Daniel said.

Shelley looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"We had our time and we have something beautiful to remember it by."

Suddenly her attention was drawn away as she saw Sam again, only a few feet away.

"She wants you to find her."

"We will."

Daniel shook his head.

"No, you. You're the one to find her, Shelley. She's given you the clues. The clues are in here."

He reached up his hand, touching the side of her head.

"You have to be patient. They will come to you. You have to be ready."

Finally Shelley found what she had been looking for. Her hand reached out for Sam's, holding on to it tightly, scared to let go.

No longer were they in the briefing room, they had once again moved somewhere new. But there was still a crowd of people. People she knew from the base, in their home, only a few months ago, celebrating her brothers birthday.

#

Janet looked up at the observation room above the surgical theatre, having done all she could. Now it was up to Shelley.

#

It was strange to watch; another Shelley, another Sam, standing on opposite sides of the room. Shelley remembered how she felt when Sam looked at her. Seeing it as an observer was just as emotional.

"The way you look at her." Daniel said. "It's beautiful. You never looked at me like that. The two of you are meant to be together."

Shelley turned her head for a moment before walking across the room to where Sam was standing, closing her eyes for long enough, almost being able to smell her perfume. She let her hand hover over Sam's, barely touching, but still feeling close to her.

**"You know you can't stay here." Daniel said, waking Shelley from her reverie.**

**"I was happy here. We were happy here."**

**"The longer you stay here, the harder it'll be. Out there, you have people who care for you."**

**"But in here, I have her." Shelley said, staring lovingly at Sam.**

**The other Sam looked up, obviously oblivious to her role in Shelley's delusion.**

**"She's out there and you have to find her."**

**"I know, you keep telling me. Why can't I just stay here for a while then, then I'll leave."**

**Daniel shook his head. **

**"You don't have a choice. You either stay in here with an illusion or wake up and find the real Sam."**

**Shelley sighed in frustration as her perfect fantasy disappeared and they were in the infirmary. **

**On the bed in front of them, lay herself, hooked up to monitors and with her head bandaged after the hours of surgery.**

**"Is this real?" she asked.**

**"As real as I could show you. Look at them, worrying about you."**

**They saw Jonas sitting on a chair next to her bed, still taking his duty seriously. Standing a few feet away was Janet. Still making sure she was okay, even unconscious. Shelley looked around, unable to locate her brother.**

**"Where's Jack?" she asked.**

**"He'll be back soon. But you have to make a choice. Either stay here or let it go and be with them. And do whatever it takes to do find her."**

**"Doctor Fraiser!" Jonas called out.**

**Janet turned around, looking down, seeing Shelley's eyes begin to flutter open slowly.**


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 6

Shelley drifted in and out of consciousness for 3 days. Not fully wanting to let go of the illusion her mind had created; where she could be with Sam. It was just too painful to be in the living world without her.

Dr Fraiser wanted to keep Shelley in the infirmary for as long as possible and as long as the botanist would let her before she went stir crazy.

It had been a week since Sam had been taken as a host, and for the first time Shelley had been conscious for more than 10 minutes. She hadn't really remembered anything that people had told her. Her mind had been on Sam, on how happy they'd been. Until Sam had began to push her away and Shelley had moved out. Even now, she couldn't fully understand why Sam had done what she did; splitting them up. But despite everything, Shelley knew that she loved her. The only explanation as to why she gave in to Isis, offering herself as a host and saving the woman she loved. Trouble was, tying to explain it to Sam's father.

Shelley looked around the infirmary that had been her home for the last 5 days. The room was littered with flowers and cards and a special card from her daughter, hand-made by the 15 month old artiste Mia Jackson.

She fiddled with the wires attached to herself and the monitors, trying to pull them off. Having already done it several times, giving the nurses a heart attack. She was bored and wanted to get the hell out of there and get out there to find Sam. As far a she could see no one else seemed to be bothered about it.

Her eyes landed on Janet who was standing across the room, attending to Sgt Siler who had broken his hand.

"Janet!" She called out.

"No Shelley, not until tomorrow. You're just going to have to put up with it for a while longer." Janet said, not even turning her head to look at her.

Having had this argument so many times over the last few days, Janet was getting used to saying no. She wasn't ready to go home just yet. Shelley wanted to just be in her own bed again. Still being able to remember the last time she had shared it with Sam.

"But you said I was okay."

"Yes I did. But Colonel O'Neill isn't back until tomorrow and you're not going home alone." Janet added.

Janet patted Sgt Siler on the arm, letting him get off the bed. She turned, smiling at her patient.

"But I do have a surprise for you."

Shelley's eyes opened widely, wondering what it could be. Unfortunately there was no way Janet would let her go home until her brother came back.

Her frustration at not being able to leave turned into joy and a huge smile appeared on her face as Janet re entered the room, holding Mia.

"Momma!" She called out.

"There's momma's big girl." Shelley said.

Janet smiled too as she handed the toddler to her mother. Shelley wrapped her arms around her daughter. The only good thing in her life amongst the chaos and darkness.

The doctor watched as Shelley played with the little one. Seeing how much it meant to her. Not seeing anything of the outside world for a week would drive anyone stir crazy, but when it stopped you from being close to someone, someone who could take the pain you felt away, any contact would brighten your day.

"I can't believe Hammond cleared this." Shelley said.

"Well I didn't actually..."

Shelley smiled.

"It was worth it to see the smile on your face."

Shelley stared at her daughter. Now Mia was getting older she was looking more and more like Daniel, definitely having his eyes. She and Sam had agreed that when the time was right they would tell Mia about her father and never hide who he was from her. Keeping photos and some of his belongings to give to her when she got older. Shelley just wondered if she would ever see her father. Wondering how Daniel could deny getting to know his daughter especially at the age she was now. Beginning to talk, to walk on her own two feet.

"Sam's gonna miss so much." Shelley said, kissing Mia on the top of her head, hugging her.

It was beginning to sink in that the two people she had loved in her life were going to miss out on their daughter's biggest growing up mile stones.

"You'll just have to make sure you record everything for her. You know how much Sam loves this little munchkin." Janet said.

"Samma."

They both smiled. Shelley had forgotten that Mia got a little confused that her mother was momma and Sam was Sam momma and began saying Samma.

"That's so cute." Janet said.

"What am I gonna do if..."

Shelley was trying so hard not to cry, but unable to stop the tears flowing down her face. Smiling at Mia, hoping that the little one wouldn't see how upset she was.

"Nurse!" Janet called out. "Could you take Mia to the mess and get her some juice?"

Nurse Jacobs picked up Mia, holding the toddler in her arms, who began waving at her momma. Shelley waved back, smiling through her tears.

"I promised myself I wouldn't do this in front of her." Shelley said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"It's understandable."

"I can't stop thinking about her Janet. Where she is, what she's doing. What Isis is making her do. It should have been me."

"Then Sam would be here saying the exact same thing that you are now." Janet said.

The doctor sat on the edge of her patient's bed, being a friend and doctor.

"She did what she did to protect you, because she loves you. I've never known her feel like this about anyone. The way she talks about you-"

"The way she looks at me when she thinks I'm not looking." Shelley added.

Janet smiled, placing a soft hand on Shelley's.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened. I'm sure if she had the chance to change what happened, she wouldn't. Sam always protects those she loves."

Shelley nodded. It was one of the things she loved about her. She looked around the room, feeling as though the walls were closing in on her.

"Mia's been through enough upheaval the last few weeks. She needs stability and I need to get out of here." She said.

The doctor sighed, about to give in.

"You let me run a few last tests and we'll see if we can sort it out for you to go home this afternoon. If you agree to take it easy."

The redhead nodded quickly. It wasn't that she was getting claustrophobic, it was that everything on this base reminded her of Sam. At least being at her brother's she didn't have the constant reminders, except for those memories in her head and in her heart.

By the late afternoon, Shelley's test results had come back all clear and she couldn't wait to get out of there.

On the way to Jack's house, Shelley had to stop by the house to pick up some more clothes and Mia's favourite toy.

Shelley entered the house, switching on the lights. The front room lit up, bringing back a million memories; their first night together and the argument that had separated them. Janet followed closely behind her, offering emotional support for her friend and medical support for her patient.

They had decided to leave Mia at the base in the very capable hands of two nurses who were totally smitten with the toddler.

The redhead looked around, seeing that nothing had changed since she'd left, and that Sam had forgotten to tidy up before she had left that morning just over a week ago. Her head turned towards their bedroom.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Janet asked.

Shelley shook her head. She needed to do this and needed to do it alone.

"No, it's fine. Could you go into Mia's room and find her teddy? The one with red hat on. Could you also pack her some more clothes? I don't know how long we're going to be gone."

The thought of being away from their home for too long was unpleasant. This was supposed to be the start of a new chapter in their life, but it had turned into a nightmare.

"Sure." Janet said. "You know where I am if you need me."

Shelley stood at the entrance to her bedroom, hesitating. Reaching up her hand, hovering above the handle. She didn't want to go in. But something was willing her forward.

She opened the door. Nothing had changed in here either. The first thing she noticed was the bed and the fact that it hadn't been made. She was always telling Sam not to forget to make the bed. On the last morning she must have been in a rush. The room was littered with Sam's clothes all over the floor.

Shelley sat on the bed, picking up one of the strewn clothes, a t-shirt. She held it to her nose, still being able to smell the faint smell of Sam's perfume.

There were so many memories in that room, in the house that they shared. Happy memories, and some not so happy. Shelley wanted to remember the good ones, like when she first moved in, Mia's first birthday party. The night of their 6 month anniversary when they danced in the living room, not even listening to any music. She smiled.

Shelley closed her eyes, seeing it so clearly in her mind. Feeling Sam's arms around her. Then the kiss. Soft lips against hers. The way Sam kissed her, touching the side of her face, slowly running her fingers through her hair, holding the back of her head. Her hands moving down to the curve of Shelley's back. Which always made her shiver.

She held in her breath, letting it out slowly as the memory refused to let her go.

Her eyes were still closed as she felt a warm breeze in the room. They opened slowly, seeing Daniel just standing there inside the room.

"You shouldn't be here." She said. "Janet is in the other room."

"Don't worry, she can't see me, not unless I want her to."

"Why are you here? Haven't you tortured me enough?"

"How have I tortured you?"

"By showing me what I had!"

Daniel shook his head.

"That was all you. I only provided you with a safe place. Besides; I had to keep your brain active whilst Janet and the others saved your life. You're welcome, by the way." Daniel said, with his arms crossed.

Shelley looked at him wondering why he had to always be wearing the same clothes. That cream jumper that she had hated the moment he had first worn it.

"Don't you ever change?" She asked.

"You don't like it?" He asked.

Shelley shook her head.

"You always said it made me look cuddly."

Shelley smiled, for the first time in what felt like forever. Then it disappeared as she noticed the t-shirt in her hand.

"You still won't help me, will you?" She asked.

He sighed heavily and shook his head, wanting so much to tell her where Isis/Sam was, but was torn.

"Then why are you here? Is it to get your own back?"

"My what?"

"Because I'm in love with Sam!"

"Is that what you really think of me? That I could do that."

Shelley shook her head. Of course she knew Daniel would never be that cruel. Whatever had happened since his ascension, Daniel had never been, nor would ever be, cruel. Especially to those he cared about.

"I know you're frustrated and angry but.."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm here for you Shell." He said.

"Me? Why? Why now?"

Janet shut Mia's bedroom door behind her, clutching the girl's favourite teddy and a bag with some clothes. As she headed down the corridor towards the living room, she stopped, hearing Shelley's voice. A lone voice.

"Dont tell me you feel guilty about leaving us?"

"Not guilty. Responsible. That's why I'm trying to help."

"And you think by not helping find Sam that you're helping me?" Shelley asked.

"It's about showing you who you really are. You're so much more than you realise."

"Im sure I've heard this before. When you tell me that I have the potential to become anything."

"Yes, but the way you're feeling now, all your anger and pain will make you turn to a very dark place. Once you cross that line... there's no going back."

Janet stood in the hallway, only being able to hear Shelley's side of the conversation. It became obvious to her that the surgery hadn't worked as well as she had hoped, or that there was some hidden trauma. Or worse; that her friend was losing her mind.

"What line? I don't understand."

Daniel moved across the room, standing in front of her, hoping that she would understand.

"You want revenge and however you take it, it will change you; and then I won't be able to help you."

"I can assure you Daniel, there's no dark place." She said.

Daniel knew that there was a dark place in everyone, including Shelley.

"Everyone has a dark side and once you go there it's hard to come back. Believe me. I've been there." Daniel said.

"That was because you kept using that sarcophagus. I promise to stay away from them."

Daniel didn't find her sarcasm very amusing. He was just trying to help her.

"Just remember what I said."

The moment Shelley looked back up at him, he was gone. Shelley didn't think she had a dark side. Although, for the last few days, she had planned her revenge on Isis in her head; once the Goa'uld was safely out of her host. Maybe that's what Daniel meant?

The redhead stood up, looking around the room one last time. She resisted the urge to make the bed. Wanting it to be exactly the same when Sam came home. To get their life back to normal as quickly as possible.

Shelley stood up heading towards the wardrobe. There were still some of her clothes here. She didn't want to take all of her stuff. If all of her clothes were gone when Sam came home it would seem that Shelley had left completely. That she had abandoned their home.

She pulled out random clothes, not being too bothered about what it was. Using it has an excuse just to come back. Everything had changed so much in two weeks. In only two weeks her heart had been broken and her life had been torn apart.

Shelley heard a faint tap on the bedroom door.

"Are you ready?" Janet asked.

The redhead had one last look around the room. Not wanting to leave but finding the memories too painful.

"Yeah." She said.

She left the bedroom door open a little bit.

The memories of the house filled her head has she walked through the hall towards the front door.

"Maybe I shouldn't stay with Jack, maybe I should stay here. This is my home." Shelley said.

"You had major surgery a few days ago. You need someone to take care of you."

"It just feels like I'm running away."

Janet shook her head.

"You're not running away. There's no shame in protecting yourself. Especially considering what you've been through."

Shelley knew Janet was right, but it didn't stop her from feeling guilty about staying away from the one place she had felt safe. Now it was just a house, not the home it had been with Sam.

"We should get you back to the infirmary. I don't want you getting too tired."

Janet looked at her friend, concerned about what she had overheard. Talking to Daniel. She had to tell someone.

Shelley could feel the signs of exhaustion throughout her entire body. She held the pile of clothes in her arms and headed towards the door. Part of her didn't want to leave and the other part didn't want to come back without Sam and Mia. To continue to be the family they had wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

TOM: Chapter 7

Jack dropped his gear in the middle of the gate room, closely followed by Jacob Carter and several Tok'ra. Frustration getting the better of him; he looked up at the control room where Hammond and Jonas were watching. Jack shook his head. For three days now they had searched for Isis and Major Carter and found nothing. Every lead they had turned into another dead end. It was as though they had disappeared into thin air. Just like the way Isis had appeared. The Tok'ra still had no idea where she had come from. She had literally appeared out of nowhere.

Hammond and Jonas looked at each other. For three days now it had been the same look on O'Neill's face when they had returned. They watched as they made their way from the gate room and up to the briefing room.

As they turned they saw Doctor Fraiser enter the room with them. The same look of concern on her face that she had had when she was at Sam's house. Concern for her friend.

"I take it that you weren't successful?" Hammond asked.

Jack nodded.

"When we got there it was like they just vanished."

"And the Tok'ra?" Jonas asked.

"They've no idea where she came from or even where she's going!"

"But we know she's looking for Osiris. Maybe if we locate him then we'll find Major Carter." Jonas added.

"I hope so." Jacob said.

Jack turned towards the doctor, seeing the look on her face, knowing something was wrong and was worried.

"Doc, how is she?" he asked.

Janet didn't know where to start. What could she say that wouldn't make Shelley sound less crazy.

"She's doing well. I took her home earlier to pick up some belongings and..."

"...and?" Hammond asked.

"I heard her talking to someone.. Well I actually only heard Shelley talking..."

"She was talking to herself?" Jack asked.

Janet nodded.

"Are you sure there wasn't anyone in there with her?" Jonas asked.

"No there was just the two of us. That wasn't the strangest part."

Jonas looked at her as though she was the crazy one.

"And?"

"From what I could make out, it sounded like she was talking to... Daniel." Janet said.

They all looked at each other and then at the doctor.

"She's clearly suffering from some kind of post traumatic stress." Jonas said.

O'Neill stood silently. He didn't believe that his sister was crazy or at least he didn't want to believe it.

"And you didn't hear anyone else?"

"No just her. But it definitely sounded as though she was having a conversation with someone,and she did mention Daniel by name."

Janet saw the look on the Colonel's face.

"Why don't you seem surprised?" She asked.

"I think we all know that Daniel hasn't actually been has absent as we all thought he would be."

Teal'c who was standing behind the Colonel, nodded.

"You've seen him?" Jonas asked.

"Yes."

"As have I." Tealc said.

"Anyone else?" Janet asked.

"You think he's going to help us find my daughter?"

Jack wanted to say yes. But after his last encounter with the ascended Daniel, he knew that he wasn't here to help them find Sam.

"I doubt it." Janet said. "From what I could make out, he wouldn't help her. She was angry."

"Is it possible that she's hallucinating due to her head trauma." Hammond asked the question that no one had dared to ask; they didn't want to think Shelley was crazy.

"It is possible. I'd have to run some more tests."

Jack shook his head.

"Don't you think she's been through enough the last few days? How much more can her head take?" He said.

"Colonel she may be your sister but she is also a member of this facility. If she has been compromised in any way, I have to investigate. Doctor, perform whatever tests you need."

Janet nodded in recognition. She didn't want to do it, but she had been given a direct order. Janet hoped that Shelley had indeed been talking to Daniel, because the other possibility would have far more dire consequences.

Janet left the briefing room and headed towards the infirmary. Jack looked even more worried than he had done when he had come through the gate. If his sister was having some kind of breakdown then he would do all he could to make sure she would be okay.

He looked at the others, knowing that they thought Shelley had suffered too much trauma over the last few days, and that it was having an affect on her health.

"She's not crazy!"

Jack shouted after the doc and General Hammond who retired to his office. O'Neill followed behind him.

"General." He said, knocking on the door.

"What if she wasn't talking to Daniel?"

"Then as her next of kin and her commanding officer you have a choice to make." Hammond said.

"I know my sister."

"Are you positive that she wasn't talking to Doctor Jackson?"

"If Doc Fraiser heard her talking to Daniel then I believe she _was_ talking to Daniel,"

Hammond shook his head.

"I'm sorry Jack. I don't think your word is going to cut it this time." Hammond said, looking up from his report.

"I'll talk to her."

Jack watched his sister from outside the infirmary as she spoke to Doc Fraiser, who was finishing off another round of tests. Tests to prove if his sister was crazy or not! He didnt believe for one moment that she was. After Daniel left she did to through a rough patch, but wouldn't anyone?

Janet looked up, seeing the Colonel in the doorway, leaving her patient to talk to him.

"And?"

"If she isn't talking to Daniel, I've no idea what's causing it. I can't find anything medically wrong with her." Janet said.

"So she's not crazy?"

"Not in the medical sense, no. All of her brain scans and mri's were clear."

Jack smiled. Of course she wasn't crazy.

"But I think she might need to talk to someone. Her hallucinations could be stress related, and we know how much stress she's been under the last week or so."

"We all have."

The last few weeks hadn't been the best in SGC history. Several members of SG teams had been killed in action and one of their best and brightest has been taken as a Goa'uld host.

Shelley looked up.

"We need to talk."

"I'll leave you to it." Janet said, making a quick retreat.

"What is it? Did you find her?" Shelley asked, hope in her eyes.

"Im sorry, Shell. We followed all the leads we had."

What Daniel had told her rang in her mind. That she was supposed to be the one to find Sam; and find herself in return. Which was one of those ancient double meanings.

"We will find her, trust me." he added.

"I know."

She looked at him, seeing something else was wrong.

"What is it?"

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed, just as he used to do when she was a kid.

"We're worried about you. Doc Fraiser said that she heard... Heard you talking to Daniel."

There was a long pause before Shelley gave her response.

"I didn't want to say anything before 'cause I thought I was going crazy. Especially before I collapsed."

"You were talking to Daniel?"

"Didn't I just say that."

Then she remembered the look on Janet's face when she had come out of the bedroom. She had overheard after all.

"Janet heard us."

Jack shook his head.

"No, she said all she heard was you."

Shelley thought for a moment then remembered what Daniel had said to her; that Janet couldn't see him unless he wanted her to. Maybe that meant she wasn't able to hear him either.

"So that's why she keeps doing all of those tests; she thinks I'm crazy."

"You can see their point."

"They never said you were crazy."

They looked at each other, trying not to overstate the obvious.

"I can't prove to you he was here Jack. You're just going to have to take my word for it."

"Does he know where my daughter is?" A voice asked from a few feet away.

They turned to see Jacob, wanting an answer to what everyone wanted to ask. Shelley shook her head.

"No. He said that he can't interfere." She said.

"Did you ask him? Maybe he just needs persuading."

"Of course I asked. I pleaded with him but he still wouldn't help."

"You should have pleaded harder!" Jacob shouted.

"I did!"

Shelley wanted to scream.

"You don't think I want to find her. She's my... I love her!" she said.

"And it's your fault she chose you over herself. If the two of you weren't..."

Jack felt the fury building in his head.

"Hey!" He shouted. "As much as I respect you Jacob, back off. It's not Shelley's fault. Carter made her choice. And it's about time you accepted that."

Jack wasn't just talking about Sam's choice to save his sister, but their relationship. Jacob had found it difficult to come to terms with the fact that Sam would never give him grandchildren.

Jacob's head lowered has his Tok'ra, Selmak, made an appearance.

"You'll have to forgive my host. He realises that your sister is not to blame in Major Carter's predicament. He is worried for his daughter, just as you all are." Selmak said.

"Well, he should talk to her properly."

"I agree. He needs time to adjust. As for the comment about Doctor Jackson..."

"I did try, but he said that he _couldn't_ help, not that he _wouldn't._"

"I don't understand." Jack said, sitting up off the bed.

"It's hard to explain without sounding even more crazy than you all think I already am."

The confused look on O'Neill's face deepened.

"He told me that Sam sent me a message whilst Isis was using the ribbon device on me."

"The same as..."

Shelley nodded. Even though she and Daniel weren't together anymore, Shelley could barely mention Shar're's name. After her last encounter with the cloned version of Daniel's first wife.

"Yes. I just have to be ready when I figure out what it is."

Shelley just hoped that Sam had enough time before she lost her completely.

Sam looked out of the Goa'uld mother ship's window. For the last two days they had been travelling. In the moments she had lost consciousness, Isis had told her guards which planet they were travelling to, but Sam couldn't remember, or didn't want to.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, remembering what she had inflicted on Shelley a few days before. Seeing the pain in her eyes, hearing her begging her to stop, and being helpless in her effort to help. Sam couldn't recognise herself; dressed in reds and golds, more over the top Goa'uld attire, her hair slicked back. She wanted to scream out loud, but feared Isis would show her more horrors.

Suddenly she felt the ship drop out of hyperspace.

"We're here." Isis said.

"Where?"

Sam looked out of the window again. Seeing a planet down below. Luckily it wasn't Earth or any other planet she would recognise from space.

"P5C112, as you would call it. But as the Goa'uld call it..."

Sam knew this planet; had been to this planet several times. The first time as an explorerer, a second as an ambassador for Earth, and the third as a witness in a trial.

"This... This is Saimaria." Sam finished. "This is Cecily's planet."

Isis smiled. Relishing in Sam's shock, feeling her desire for revenge.

Sam looked at her reflection again. Finding herself enjoying the smile on her face. It had been the first time she had been back since Cecily had been convicted of Shelley's rape. The side of her that was still herself wondered why Isis had brought her here, after showing her so many times what Shelley had allowed her to see during her torture. But knowing the Goa'uld as she did, it wasnt for forgiveness.


	9. Chapter 9

TOM: Chapter 8

Shelley looked down at the gate room, not used to it being so quiet. She had just given her own briefing to General Hammond, Jacob Carter and the rest of SG1 about what Daniel had told her. His cryptic message that she was the one to find Sam because she had given her the answer through the ribbon device.

All but Jack had been skeptical about Shelley's encounter with the ascended Daniel Jackson. It did after all happen to him, so he knew that it was possible. General Hammond, on the other hand, was always skeptical unless he saw it with his own eyes. Although, he had commented that after 7 years working at the SGC, nothing was completely impossible.

Jacob Carter just wanted someone, anyone, to help him find his daughter; and Selmak wanted to learn more about where Isis had been for the last thousand or so years and what she wanted now.

The redhead turned towards the office, where the three of them were discussing her fate, along with Doctor Fraiser. If they thought she was crazy, then it would be the end of her SGC career and the end of ever finding the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. All hope of ever defeating the Goa'uld Isis rested firmly on her shoulders, thanks to Daniel's intervening words. Of course she wanted to find Sam; wanted to find her more than she wanted to breathe but the fact that it was up to her to find Sam and in return defeat Isis; it was a huge burden to bear. Especially as her military training had been virtually non existent. She knew that they wouldn't let her be a part of any rescue mission, whether she was trained or not! It didn't matter to them if Daniel had said she had to be the one to find Sam. To them she was just a Botanist! A good one at that, but a Botanist nevertheless.

Shelley turned back to look at the gate room, seeing another team just arriving. The SGC and it's off world teams were still on high alert and that accounted for the extra armed personnel in the gate room itself. Shelley blamed herself. If she hadn't managed to break her ankle that day, then they might have been able to get away and SG1 wouldn't have needed to rescue her and SG7 and Sam wouldn't be gone! Not to mention her friends and colleagues wouldn't think she was crazy.

Finally the door to General Hammond's office opened. She looked at her brother, trying to gauge his reaction.

"I'm sorry Shell." He said. "They don't think you're lying about Daniel, but without proof..."

"I can't force him to show himself. Then what am I supposed to do?" she asked.

"Go home, rest."

Shelley shook her head, looking at Jacob Carter.

"How can I go home and rest when Sam is still out there?"

"We will continue to search for Major Carter." Hammond said.

Shelley moved forwards, her head up and shoulders back. A wave of anger and confidence hit her.

"With all due respect, General, that's not good enough."

"Shelley!" Jack shouted at her.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I don't know why Daniel told me I had to be the one to find her! That scares the hell out of me but he did."

"And we're suppose to take your word for that?" Jacob asked.

"No. Mine!"

All 4 of them turned, seeing Daniel standing by the winding staircase.

"Doctor Jackson!" Hammond said.

"Daniel." O'Neill added.

Jack, General, Jacob."

Shelley stood, impatient, waiting for the pleasantries to be over. There were far more important matters to discuss.

Isis strode through the corridors of the mother ship on her way to the ring room. This wasn't part of her plan to find Osiris but she couldn't resist the temptation to torment her host. Giving in to her desire for revenge. She had felt Sam's anger, hatred when they had first arrived above the planet. Seeing those first few weapons fire on the facility where Cecily was being held. Hoping that she was dead but hoping the bitch had suffered.

Several Jaffa followed their queen, keeping the appropriate distance. Isis twirled her long cape around as she stood in the circle. This wouldn't take long.

She felt the stone circles around her and the blinding light. After a few seconds she emerged in a large room, followed a few seconds later by her Jaffa Guards. Isis looked around. The room was in chaos. Guards running around, making sure the inmates were still secure. Then running away like the cowards they were guarding.

Signalling her Jaffa, they moved away the remaining guards, they read the computer monitors, knowing exactly who they were looking for. It didn't take them long. One of them turned to Isis.

"We have found the prisoner, my Queen."

"Bring her to me." she commanded.

The Jaffa nodded, heading down the corridor with several others.

Isis looked around, seeing depraved, worthless humans who would make excellent hosts for the Goa'uld. Sharing their lack of empathy for the human race.

A guard lay on the floor beneath her feet, weapons fire to his body. One of the ones hurt by falling debris after the initial blasts from Isis' ship. She looked down at him as he looked up at her.

"You!" He said.

Isis stared at him. A stranger to her but not to Sam Carter. Her host had recognised him almost immediately as one of the guards at Cecily's trial. One of the men who hadn't wanted her tried for her crime, and had declared it as a misunderstanding and an indiscretion. Saying that Shelley had given Cecily signals. Sam had hated this man just as much as the woman who raped her girlfriend. At the trial, he had raped her all over again.

Isis cocked her head sideways, giving him an evil grin. Knowing that he had already misidentified her. On the outside she looked like Major Samantha Carter. Only when she spoke would he know the truth.

Her eyes looked away, dismissing him.

"We have the prisoner." The Jaffa said.

She stood up straight, waiting for a moment before she turned. Feeling the hand device on her fingers, his hand closed into a fist. There was a gentle sobbing behind her. Finally Isis turned, slowly.

Cecily began to shake, not knowing why the Goal'uld were attacking her world. Supposedly being one of the protected planets by the Asgard.

"Major Carter!"

Cecily looked at her confused. She looked different and the army of Jaffa confused her even more.

"She is here.. and she wants to talk to you." Isis said, the deepness in her voice giving away her identity.

Isis would never normally let her host out to play. But this was he reason they were here; to let her have her revenge. So she can be seduced and be completely taken over by the Goa'uld. Her eyes glowed as she raised her hand. Isis could hear Sam inside her head. Insisting that the Goa'uld end the life in front of her quickly. But Isis, wanted her host to feel the life drain out of her. Seeing the light darken in her eyes.

Her hands shook as the ribbon device's energy began to flow through it, blasting the woman's body to the ground. Cecily felt winded. The pain in her head more intense than she had ever felt before. Another blast almost left her unconscious.

"Why, why are you doing this?" she asked.

Isis bent down, kneeling beside her, shaking off the device from her hand. She ran the back of it across Cecily's face. Still hearing Sam in her mind she let the woman decide Cecily's fate.


	10. Chapter 10

They all stared at the man in front of them. Some of them hadn't seen him since his ascension 2 years ago and some were seeing him on a regular basis. Even though they all thought she was crazy.

"Daniel," Jack said, again.

Daniel nodded. The only thing Jacob could think about was whether he was going to help.

"Do you know where my daughter is?" he asked.

Daniel didn't want to have to go through it all again and see the pain in Jacobs eyes.

"I do but I can't help you."

"What do you mean you cant help? If you know where she is you have to tell us!"

Jacob was insistent.

"Daniel, then why _are_you here?" Jack asked.

"To make sure you don't think that Shelley is crazy after what she told you about seeing me. Plus her being the one to find Sam."

Jack had that puzzled look on his face, again.

"Yeah what's that about?" he asked.

Daniel froze for a moment, just as he had done in Shelley's dream state.

"I have to go."

"Daniel!" Shelley pleaded.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He said.

There was something in his voice that made Shelley very nervous. She caught his stare has he looked down at the gate room. The others looked with her. In a moment of distraction, Daniel disappeared, again.

"I give up." Jack said.

Shelley continued to look at the gate as the chevrons began to spin and the lights and sirens made everyone alert.

She followed the others down the flight of stairs to the control room where Walter Davis (Harriman) was sat. He looked up at General Hammond.

"Sgt, what's the problem?"

"It's an audio file sir, from Saimaria."

Hammond's eyebrows rose as he looked at the colonel, who in turn looked at his sister. Her heart began to race. They hadn't heard from that planet in 6 months and hadn't planned on hearing from them ever again. It was a part of the past she wanted to remain in the past.

The general was in two minds of what to do. Having been told by his superiors never to have any contact with them again, due to the nature of the crime committed against one of their team. He held in a breath and let it out slowly.

"Play the file."

"General," O'Neill said "it can't be a coincidence that Daniel disappeared at the same time they try and contact us."

"I know, Colonel."

Shelley moved several paces back as the file began to play. Not wanting to listen to what they had to say.

"We're under attack. From the Goa'uld, her name is Isis."

Shelley and Jacob stared at each other, feeling both terrified and overjoyed at the news that she was alive.

"She wants to make contact with the human, Shelley O'Neill, alone."

Jack shook his head.

"We will resume contact in one hour with details."

It went dead. There was a uneasy silence in the control room. No one knowing what to say. This was the first contact they had had from Isis/Sam in the week since she had been taken. The only real proof that she was alive!

Shelley looked at Jack. Giving him the same look she had done as a kid when she wanted something. A look that always made him give in. Until this time.

"Don't even think about it." He said.

"Come on Jack, it might be the only way of getting her back."

"I'm sure there'll be another way Shell. Not to mention you going back to that place. Remember the last time you were there?"

"Im not likely to forget." Shelley said.

The last time they had been there had been during Cecily's trial, giving evidence. The worst few hours of her life. Having to go through her ordeal over and over again. Every single detail scrutinised. Her relationship with Sam on trial too.

"Then why go back? It's obviously some kind of trap." O'Neill said.

"I agree." Hammond added.

"If it gets her back... Then I'll do it."

Jack shook his head again.

"You had major surgery a few days ago."

"I'm fine. I want to do this. Besides its not your decision."

The redhead looked in the direction of the General. Hoping he would save her.

"I'm sorry, but Colonel O'Neill is right. It's most definitely a trap, and I can't put you or anyone else in that kind of situation."

Jack saw the look on Shelley's face. As if her whole life had come crashing down, yet again.

"George."

"Im sorry Jacob."

Watching as General Hammond made his way back up the stairs to his office, Shelley grabbed hold of Jack's arm, pulling him back.

"That cant be the end of it Jack, it can't."

"I know how much you want to get her back, Shell. But putting yourself right in front of Isis isn't the way."

"We don't even know what she wants yet." Jacob said.

"That's right. Can't we just listen to what she wants and then decide?"

No matter how much he wanted to say yes, Jack O'Neill had to let them down, again.

"The General has made his decision."

The young woman shook her head in frustration. Everyone in the control room stared at her. Her refusal to accept that Sam was gone was spreading through the SGC like wildfire.

"As much has I disagree with his decision... It's his decision." Jacob said.

"But, she's so close. I can't just forget about her."

"I know, it's hard. Knowing she's out there and not being able to... She's my daughter."

Shelley felt a hand on her arm and looked down. Seeing Jacob's hand resting on top of it. Offering her the support she had wanted from him for so long. As though he was accepting that he wasn't the only one who loved Sam, Shelley did too.

The redhead had paced around her office so many times it felt as though she had walked an Olympic marathon. The fact that Sam was only one trip through the gate away plagued her thoughts. Not being able to stop thinking about it, about her. Wondering why she was on that planet in the first place. It being one of the few she never wanted to go back to. But what if Isis had other ideas!

She wanted to break something, smash her entire office, to let out her frustrations. Instead Shelley sat at her desk, crying. Her tears wouldn't stop now. It had been the first time she had properly let out her emotions. Not wanting to appear weak in front of everyone.

The office that had been her home for the last few years was shrouded in almost darkness. The only visible light from a small lamp on the table. Next to it were several photos of the two of them, plus one of the three of them, Shelley, Sam and Mia. Every time she looked at it a part of her died in side. Not wanting to let go of the family they were becoming.

Being a family was one of the things Sam had always wanted. Having spent several years estranged from her father, after her mother died. Spending the time in the middle of him and her brother. That's how she and Shelley were alike. Losing their mothers at a young age and trying to keep their families together whilst father and brother fought.

Shelley picked up the photograph of her and Sam, taken on their first anniversary. Looking so happy, so in love. Oblivious to the tragedy that would befall them. She ran her finger across Sam's face.

"That's a gorgeous picture of the two of you." A female voice said from behind her.

Shelley turned her head and her eyes adjusted to the light as they were turned on. It was Janet, smiling at seeing that photograph.

"We were so happy. Now I've lost her." She said.

Janet sighed.

"Jonas told me that Isis is on Samairia and that she wants to make contact."

"Yeah, with me. Only me. What would she even be doing there?"

Janet sat down on the chair next to her friend.

"I know that some Goa'uld have influenced their hosts, you just have to ask Colonel O'Neill about that. But I've never heard of it going the other way. Host influencing its Goa'uld."

"Do you think it could have something to do with...?"

Shelley could barely say her name. The thought of even her name terrified her, never mind to go back there and see her.

"It's possible."

"I know, but if Sam is influencing her then why would she go there?"

"I guess the only way you'll know for sure is actually going to Saimairia."

Shelley stood up, pacing the room again.

"Well that's not gonna happen. Hammond said no."

"Since Jonas told me about that I've come up with an idea."

Shelley found herself back in the briefing room. This time with Janet and the hope that Hammond was going to agree with their plan.

"Do you think it would work?" Hammond asked.

"If Shelley can administer the sedative and we can get her to the Tok'ra in time." Doctor Fraiser said.

Finally the hope returned to Shelley's face. Jack saw that Hammond was seriously thinking about it.

"You're not seriously thinking of going along with this, General?" Jack asked. "She has no training in something like this. What if something goes wrong?"

"I'll be fine. I want to do this." Shelley said.

"We might only get one shot at this!" Jacob added.

"Colonel, I agree with Jacob. This might be our only chance at retrieving Major Carter."

"Please Jack. You guys risked your lives to rescue me and SG7 and Sam gave herself to protect me. Let me do this!"

She gave him that look again. That lost little girl look she had been fond of using as a kid. She placed a hand on his arm, squeezing.

"Please Jack?"

He looked into her eyes. Just seeing how much pain she had been in over the last few days. Both physically and mentally. How desperate she was to have Sam back.

"Okay, but you're not going in without some back up." He said.

"What do you have in mind?" Jacob asked.

After ten minutes they received another audio message from the Saimairians. Shelley was to proceed to the planet, on her own, with no weapons. She would be totally alone, but Jack had other ideas!

They stood at the end of the ramp, Shelley looking back at the Stargate, having gotten dressed. Now she as wearing the green SGC uniform she wore when she went off-world. Her hair long around her shoulders. She heard the huge doors to the gate room open, seeing her brother, Jacob Carter and Doc Fraiser walk towards her. Shelley could see that Janet was carrying a syringe, probably the sedative she had to give Isis. Hoping that it would work. She was nervous. About seeing Isis/Sam, about her part in getting her back to the Tok'ra and being back on that planet. Probably coming face to face with Cecily. Having had nightmares about her every night for the first months after her attack.

General Hammond looked down at them from the control room, waiting to give Shelley the order.

"This is the sedative. Just inject her anywhere you can. It should knock her out for several hours." Janet said, placing the syringe in the leg pocket of her pants.

"And this," Jack said, holding up a small plastic ear piece, "will let us talk you through it, and this is a hidden camera."

He placed the device on her jacket, replacing one of the buttons. Shelley moved her hair behind her ear, placing the ear bud inside. Jack signalled the general, who spoke to her. She nodded at hearing his voice.

"The first sign of trouble and we're coming through that gate for you." Jack said.

The two of them looked at each other. Not as Colonel and someone under his command, but as brother and sister.

"No matter what happens; I'm proud of you for doing this." He said.

"I know."

He held her hand tight, trying not to let the others see his softer side.

"I'll bring her home." She said.

They took a step back as the gate began to spin. As she looked down she felt a hand in hers, belonging to the father of her girlfriend. Shelley didn't say anything; feeling too emotional already. Just looking at him and smiling.

Her heart began to pound as the wormhole finally opened.

"You have a go." Hammond said. "Good luck."

Shelley took a hesitant step forward, then another and another. Finally she reached the top of the ramp, staring at the wormhole in front of her. She held in her breath and stepped forwards one more step.

Shelley let it out quickly as she appeared on the other side, on Saimairia. Greeted by 20 Jaffa, who pointed staff weapons at her. She felt her heart beat begin to return to its normal rhythm. Shelley looked around the room. It was different from the last time she had been there. Finally realising that it was in a different place and that after their last encounter they had decided to move the gate somewhere else.

The jaffa moved closer to her, looking just as menacing as they had been a week ago.

"Stay where you are!" One of them shouted.

Shelley recognised him. He was Isis' personal guard. She raised her arms, turning around, showing them that she wasn't carrying any weapons.

"That's good Shell, that's good." She heard Jack whisper in her ear.

"I'm unarmed." She said.

The guard stared at her.

"You will come with me."

Another guard grabbed hold of Shelley's arms, pushing her forwards. She didn't know where she was going. Not being familiar with her current surroundings. Shelley looked back at the gate. Seeing that it was still active. They had agreed to let it stay open until Shelley was ready to leave.

They lead her through several locked doors. Something eerie (actually both correct but eerie is more accepted) about where she found herself. It looked like a prison.

"Shelley." Jack whispered. "I've been here before. This is their prison."

She tried to remain calm as the Jaffa lead her through the prison, or what was left of it. Most of the cells had been destroyed, several of the inmates lay dead on the ground in front of her. It didn't look as though it had been much of a fight. The Saimairian's having lost badly.

Shelley couldn't help but wonder if this was the prison that Cecily was in. Was she one of the ones that were lying dead on the ground? Or had she escaped? Running away like the coward she was.

Finally they stopped and the guard pushed her inside a nearby room. She fell on to the floor, having felt the full force of the Jaffa. Her head turned, looking around the room, making sure she was alone. She was.

She stood up, watching as the Jaffa closed and locked the door behind her.

"Jack, are you still there?" She whispered.

"I'm still here." He answered.

She checked the syringe in her pocket, sighing in relief as she found it still intact.

In front of her was a full length mirror. The room looked like a bedroom of someone's quarters. It made her feel uneasy.

"You're doing great Shell."

In the control room, Jack O'Neill sat in front of the monitor on the edge of his seat. Watching as his sister waited for Isis.

"I dont like this." He said. "We've no idea what she's getting herself in to."

Shelley stood with her back to the door, not even hearing it when it opened.

There was a long silent pause...

"Shelley, she's behind you."

Jack saw her reflection in the mirror in front of Shelley.

The redhead closed her eyes, sensing someone behind her. She didn't want to open them, seeing someone other than Sam. Feeling someone pressed against her, her eyes opened slowly.

In the mirror in front of her Shelley could barely make out blonde hair behind her.

A moment later, she felt a hand on her right arm then another on her left. One of them moved, moving away the hair to the back of her neck. Lightly tracking the skin with her fingers.

Her body began telling her that the the touch belonged to Sam. That only her and one other person knew how she liked to be touched. How much it aroused her! Shelley felt the woman nuzzling against her neck.

The redhead breathed hard, finding it hard to concentrate on her mission.

In the control room all of them men took a step back. Finding the moment a little too personal. Janet sat at the monitor, shaking her head at her male colleagues.

"Shelley," she said clasping the microphone, "it's not her. Remember it's not her. She's using Sam's memories to get to you."

Shelley held in her breath and let it out slowly as she moved away, out of reach of the Goa'uld.

Finally they faced each other. One a little more nervous than the other.

"Is that anyway to great your..."

Isis tried to find the right word. Not wanting to get it wrong.

"... girlfriend."

"You are not Samantha Carter. You may look like her but you're not her."

"And neither would I want to be. She's weak. Just like all humans."

Shelley's eyes saw what Isis had done to change who Sam was. Dressing her in golds and reds and changing the way she wore her hair. Now all slicked back. On first impressions, Shelley hated it.

"You're wrong."

"I've seen the way she coddles you like a newborn baby."

Sam's voice rang through the speaker system in the control room. No one knew what to say. Jacob lowered his head. Not wanting to see or hear his daughter.

"Scared you may get injured."

"Because she cares. When have you ever cared about something, someone other than yourself?"

"Careful Shell," Jack whispered, "don't piss her off completely."

"Why am I here? Why did you bring me here?"

Isis moved around the room, making Shelley back further away from her.

"Shelley O'Neill," Isis said, "or should I call you, Shelley Jackson?"

Shelley didn't react. Just seeing the look on the Goa'uld's face. That mischievous grin that Sam always gave her, when she was in a playful mood.

"I know my host doesn't like calling you the latter."

"Why don't you just stop and get on with it. Why am I here?"

Isis began to walk around the redhead who moved with her. Not wanting to let her out of her sight. Making sure those back in the control room saw her too.

"You and I got off on the wrong foot."

"Torturing me for information is getting off on the wrong foot?" Shelley asked.

Isis laughed.

"I admit, I may have exaggerated a little. That's why I came here."

The young woman was puzzled.

"Call it a peace offering." Isis said.

After a few seconds the doors opened and two Jaffa entered, pushing something. Shelley tried to see what it was, lying under the sheet. Isis stood next to it. Grabbing hold of the sheet, pulling it off.

As soon as she saw who was laying there, she looked away.

"Oh my god." Shelley heard Janet whisper in her ear.

Shelley stopped moving. Isis stopped too, standing behind her.

"You... You killed her. Why?"

"Oh no, my dear. I didn't do anything. Your beloved Samantha killed her. And she enjoyed it." Isis whispered in Shelley's ear.

"No, no, no." shelley said, shaking her head. "She wouldn't."

Isis began to surround her prey again, watching in sheer delight of Shelley's horror.

"She enjoyed it. Killed her with her own bare hands! Watching as the life drained from her eyes."

Shelley looked back at Cecily's lifeless body on the table behind her, still wrapped in the sheet. She wasn't sorry she was dead. Just in the way in which it happened. If indeed Isis was telling her the truth. Goa'uld had a tendancy to lie when it was to their advantage. But what could she gain from telling her that it was Sam who killed Cecily and not herself. And what was the difference?

"Sam would never do that."

"After what that woman did to you! I'm surprised she didn't do it sooner. The rage she felt when she saw her kneeling in front of her, was just exquisite." Isis said.

Shelley continued to shake her head. Not believing for one moment that Sam killed Cecily, let alone be capable of it.

"It was what you wanted, wasn't it? She did this for you."

"Sam knows I would never want her to kill for me. I love her too much for her to do that."

Isis scowled.

"I thought you were in control?"

"I let her out to play, occasionally. When I need to be entertained."

"You think this is funny. A woman is dead."

Isis shook her head, growing impatient of Shelley's ingratitude.

"Don't lie and tell me you didn't want that woman dead. I can hear it in your voice. Saw it in your eyes when you saw her lying there."

Isis stood behind Shelley again, whispering in her ear.

"Or did you want to watch her as she did it. See those cold eyes drain of life."

Shelley felt her breath on her neck.

Jack and the others watched as she raised her hand, taking the earbuds from her ear, gripping it in her fingers.

"No Shelley don't..."

"Why did she do that?" Jacob asked.

Shelley crunched the bud in between her thumb and forefinger. Hearing it break.

"Of course I wanted her dead, after what she did to me," she said.

Then she turned around, looking at Isis and then at the body laying in the table.

"But that's all it was; a wish. I couldn't have gone through with it and neither would Sam. Not unless she was being used by someone, like you."

Isis smiled at her.

"She was right. She said I wouldn't be able to fool you."

Isis moved across the room to where Cecily's body lay. She pulled off the sheet, letting the redhead see her.

"This is what the two of you wanted for so long. Why does it matter who killed her as long as someone did?"

Shelley didn't know how to answer her. The death of Cecily did close a door in that particular horrible part of her life. But it left some questions unanswered. Cecily had never really given an answer as to why she did what she did. Keeping quiet during the whole of her trial. Shelley still blamed herself. That she did something to lead her on. A word or a look!

"Would you take any pleasure in knowing that she begged for her life like a child?"

Even though Shelley could barely look at a dead body, she forced herself into glancing at the woman's body.

"Is this all you got me here to see? To show off the fact that you murdered someone?"

"Not just anyone."

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER?" Shelley shouted. "She's dead. Why are you still here? Don't the Goa'uld kill and run? They don't normally hang around."

Shelley felt a presence behind her. Her hand began to hover at her side. Only an inch away from the syringe in her pocket.

"I wanted you to see what I'm capable of before you lose your faith in ever getting her back."

Isis pressed up against Shelley's back. Her arms falling to her side, holding one of the redheads hands. She parted her fingers, slotting them together like a vice.

"I'll never stop."

"Believe me, you will."

The Goa'uld nuzzled against Shelleys neck again, nibbling on her ear. The desire she could feel from her host was in danger of coming to the surface. Finding the idea of being with this woman, fascinating. But it would have to wait, until the time was right.

"Once I'm finished, I'm going to destroy everything she ever cared about. And everyone who cared about her. You'll end up hating her and she'll be my host forever."

Shelley's hand slowly dipped into her left pocket, carefully taking out the syringe with her fingers. Gripping it in her hand she raised it upwards, slowly.

"I'll never stop searching for her, no matter what you do!"

As Shelley was poised to take action, Isis grabbed her wrist, forcing Shelley to the floor and making her drop the syringe.

"DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?" Isis shouted.

In the control room they watched Shelley fall to her knees.

"General?" Jack said.

The general nodded, giving the signal for SG1 to rescue the innocent.

Teal'c and Jonas, who had joined them a few minutes before, followed behind O'Neill has he raced towards the gate room.

Shelley grimaced in pain as she heard her wrist crack.

"I know everything my host knows."

Isis' tone was full of anger and rage. Shelley hadn't heard anything like it before. A mixture of Sam's and something unworldly.

"She knows they wouldn't have sent you completely alone and unguarded."

Isis bent down, picking up the syringe, examining it, wondering what it was. It looked familiar. She searched Sam's memories, trying to locate the right one.

"This must be Doctor Fraiser's work. Now what could it be?"

Isis still held Shelley's wrist, twisting it even more.

"Some kind of Goa'uld poison? Or perhaps a sedative to knock me out?" she said.

The redheads eyes fluttered, giving away her tell.

"Ahhh."

She yanked Shelley up, almost pulling her arm out of her socket. Holding her firmly in her arms. Shelley struggled. This wasn't going as well as she had hoped.

"I'll see you again, Shelley O'Neill." Isis said, kissing her hard on the lips.

Shelley felt the tip of the syringe enter her skin and then began to feel sleepy. Isis laid her down on the floor, carefully.

Shelley looked up, trying to keep focused on Sam/Isis' face. But it was fading. Her heart beat began to slow. Feeling every single beat. One by one, getting slower and slower. Her eyes getting heavier and heavier. Knowing that she'd failed. Letting everyone down. She'd lost her, again.


	11. Chapter 11

"Shelley."

A woman's voice whispered her name, forcing her to open her eyes for the first time in almost a day.

"Sam!"

Her lips curled into a smile at saying Sam's name. Hoping, wishing it was her who was trying to awaken her. If this was a fairy tale, Sam would awaken her with a kiss. But this was far from a fairy tale.

"Sam." She whispered again.

She felt a hand on her forehead, brushing away some fallen hair. Something Sam used to do before they were torn apart from each other.

Finally Shelley's eyes opened, seeing someone who wasnt Sam standing next to the bed.

"Janet."

The doctor nodded. Shelley sat upright in the bed, looking around the room as though she hadn't been asleep for 24 hours.

"How long was I out?" she asked.

"Just over 20 hours."

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

Janet sighed, watching as the rest of her staff parted ways.

"Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c are in the briefing room."

"What's happened?"

"They came a few hours ago."

"Who?"

Shelley began to panic. Surely it couldn't be as bad as what she was already thinking of.

"A special team from the Pentagon?"

Shelley looked at her with a confused looked on her face.

"What for?"

"They're investigating how Sam was taken as a host. They're waiting for you." Janet said, resting a hand atop of Shelley's.

Shelley turned, following Janet's stare. In the doorway stood a tall man, someone she hasn't seen before. Dressed in a suit, looking at the two of them.

"What the hell is going on, Janet?"

The well-dressed man stared at her as she jumped off the bed.

"You don't have to do this now, Shelley."

"I'm fine, I've only been asleep."

She walked across the room, to where her escort was waiting for her.

"Lead the way." She said.

Shelley followed him towards the briefing room. Taking the usual route. But it felt more like an execution than a debriefing.

As they neared the briefing room Shelley could hear her brother's voice, loud, shouting. Not sounding in the best of moods. She stood in the doorway seeing her brother and General Hammond surrounded by several other men in suits. Men she hadn't seen before. One in particular wasn't being very pleasant. They all looked up at her as her 'shadow' entered the room before her.

"Shelley Jackson." He said.

Her name was greeted with a wall of angry faces. The only ones pleased to see her was a relative and Hammond.

"Take a seat." One of the men said.

O'Neill stood up, pulling out a chair for his sister.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Sitting down, she looked around the table again. The only face she seemed to recognise was Major Davis, the SGC's Pentagon representative. Having spoken to him on several occasions after Daniel's ascension. Making sure she wasn't a security risk.

"What's this all about?" Shelley asked.

"This is about how this command let one of its most valuable assets become captured and taken as a host by the Goa'uld. And how an attempt to retrieve her failed."

Shelley stared at the man in front of her. He was in his mid to late forties with dark hair and a clear hatred for her already.

"Shelley this is Colonel Strong from the Pentagon."

The colonel made no attempt to acknowledge Shelley, instead he looked down at his folder, searching through the notes he had already made after interviewing O'Neill, Hammond, Jonas and Teal'c. He signed heavily as he looked up at the redhead.

"You and SG7 were captured by a Goa'uld named Isis?"

Shelley nodded.

"That's when SG1 and several other teams were despatched through the gate to rescue you?" he asked.

"That's also correct."

"During that time, you were singled out by the Jaffa and Major Carter took your place."

Shelley rememberd that moment. Feeling Sam's hand in hers, closing her eyes and then everything went black.

"Yes."

"And you let that happen?"

Shelley frowned, her breathing becoming harder.

"I really didn't have a choice being as I was unconscious at the time."

Strong looked back down at his notes.

"I see from your file that you share a house together?"

"Yes, but what has that got to do with what happened?" Shelley asked.

"I'm just trying to establish Major Carter's thoughts as to why she put herself in your place."

"You'd have to ask her that!" Shelley said.

"Or I could just ask you. The two of you are in a relationship?"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Jack asked, stepping in for his sister.

"The fact of the matter is that because of Major Carter's relationship with your sister, she has compromised the SGC. Especially in it's handling of her extraction yesterday. In which you had a very big part in." He said.

Shelley didn't look away. She wasn't going to shy away from confrontation as she normally would. No. She was going not going to be pushed around.

"Isis insisted that I went alone," she said, "but they saw and heard everything in the control room."

"Until you took your ear piece out. What exactly did she say to you?" Strong asked.

Shelley took a long pause. Trying to come to terms with what Isis had told her, before telling anyone else.

"That she was going to destroy everything Sam had here. So I wouldn't continue looking for her."

"You in particular?"

Shelley nodded.

"Why you?"

Jack sat hoping that his sister would think before answering Strong's question.

"Because she knows I won't stop until I find her," Shelley said, "just as every man and woman on this base wouldn't."

O'Neill gave a sly smile.

"I'm just reading General Hammond's report here. He says that you were told that you were the one who has to find Major Carter."

"Correct again." She said.

"By... your husband, Daniel Jackson."

Everyone sat around the table knew that this wasn't going to end well.

"Yes."

"Who has been declared MIA for almost 2 years. After ascending to another plane of existence."

Before Shelley could say another word, another man stood in the doorway to the briefing room.

"Don't say another word."

They all looked up, seeing two well-dressed men in suits.

"I'm Agent Barrett this is Agent Whittaker, NID."

Shelley had heard Sam mention Agent Barrett before. Having been her contact at the NID and helping her out when Jack had been accused of killing Senator Kinsey.

"Anything pertaining to Daniel Jackson is classified and we're taking over this investigation."

"On whose authority?" Strong asked.

Barrett took out a sheet of paper from out of his companion's brief case and slid it over the table towards Strong. He read it slowly. The smug look on his face disappeared as he read the name on the top.

"Feel free to stick around." Barrett said.

Strong and his companions stood, leaving the room. Looking none too pleased. Leaving everyone breathing a sigh of relief.

Agent Barrett sat down in front of Shelley.

"I'd like to talk to Shelley alone, please." He said.

Jack looked at his sister, trying to gauge her reaction.

"It's okay Jack. I'll be okay."

Shelley still felt a bit nervous. This wasn't the Pentagon, this was the NID! Barrett waited until everyone had left.

Shelley watched as Barrett took out a dictaphone and placed it on the table in front of him. Seeing that he hadn't switched it to record.

"We're not here to lay blame, we just want to know what happened. What happened yesterday?" He asked.

"Isis wanted to meet, alone. So I pressured General Hammond into letting me go. It was the only way we had a chance of capturing her."

"And it didn't go according to plan?" He asked.

Shelley shook her head, going over it again in her mind.

"No. She found the syringe Doctor Fraiser had given me containing the sedative I was supposed to administer. Next thing I remember was waking up in the infirmary an hour ago." Shelley said.

"And Hammond had eyes and ears on you at all times?" He asked.

Shelley shook her head again.

"No, I took out my ear piece."

"Why?"

"Because what was said was private!"

Barrett looked at his notes, brushing them to one side.

"Because of your relationship with Sam?" He asked.

Her eyes opened widely at his words. It wasn't a secret about the two of them. Now not only did the Pentagon know about them but so did the NID.

"Sam told me about the two of you, after a failed attempt at a pass." Barrett said, a little embarrassed.

"It wasn't just that, it was why she brought me there."

"The woman Cecily?"

Shelley thought as though she was playing twenty questions rather than giving her side of the story. Nodding nervously.

"It wasn't Sam... Major Carter," she corrected herself, "it was Isis who killed her. She just wanted me and everyone else to think otherwise!"

"Do you know anything else? Anything that could tell us what her plans are."

"She wants to find Osiris. For what reasons I don't know. And she wants to destroy Sam by making us have no reason to want to find her!"

Barrett looked confused, having missed that part of Shelley's speech to Colonel Strong earlier.

"Isis just said by destroying everything she cares about."

"That's why she killed that woman on Saimairia? We will do whatever we can to get her back."

Shelley nodded. No matter what Isis did Shelley would never stop searching for Sam. She looked up at Barrett whose whole demeanour began to change.

"What I don't understand is Doctor Jackson's involvement in all this." He said.

Now she understood why he was so interested in taking over the investigation.

"I don't know. He never said. I think he just wants to help, in whatever way he can."

"But he could easily tell you where she is, without us having to wait until we find her ourselves."

"This isn't about getting Sam back, is it? This is about Daniel!"

Barrett stood up, beginning to pace the briefing room.

"You have to understand that Doctor Jackson could have vital information. Not just about Major Carter's whereabouts but the Goa'uld. Their strongholds, what they're up to." He said.

"I know how important that could be, but it's worthless. He won't tell you willingly, not unless..."

She thought for a moment, thinking what would make Daniel tell them any information he had gathered whilst being ascended. Only if someone was in trouble, someone close. Someone he loved! Then he answered her suspicions.

"Not unless his information was dependant on your version of these events being accepted, and your continuing roll in this program and finding Major Carter."

"Is that a threat?"

Barrett shook his head.

"Of course not," he said, lying, "just something the both of you might like to think about!"

Barrett stood behind Shelley. He hated doing this. Doing this to Major Carter, but he had his orders; to procure whatever information he could out of the ascended Daniel Jackson. At whatever cost.

"Can I go now? Doctor Fraiser wants to check me over before I go home."

"Of course."

He looked away as Shelley stood up and left the room. Trying to conceal his guilt. He didn't want to do this. He owed Sam a favour, and pressurising her girlfriend into getting information wasn't the best way to go about it.

Shelley appeared in the corridor, a smile on her face as she saw her brother had been waiting for her.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"Turns out they just want information from Daniel. Threatening to fire me is just their way of getting it."

"Is that what he said?"

"It was implied. They don't care about getting Sam back. Just what they can get out of it."

She looked at her brother, the only person she trusted at this moment.

"I wanna go home," she said, "see my daughter."

"Okay. Hammond said to take a few days off, get your head together."

"I don't know if I can ever get my head around this." She said.

She began walking down the corridor ahead of her brother, just wanting to get away from the base for a while.


	12. Chapter 12

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A SCENE OF AN INTIMATE NATURE

For the first time in over a week, Shelley was home, well, in her brother's house. Although the thought of spending time alone in her own home both scared her and comforted her, Shelley didn't want to be there without Sam. There were too many memories.

Shelley spent the evening with her daughter. Wondering if she had forgotten who she was already! Luckily Mia was a bright girl who knew who her mother was. The two of them played until it was time for the toddler's bath. Shelley bathed her and put her to bed, reading her a story before she fell asleep. She watched Mia for a while, making sure she didn't awaken. Not being used to a strange bed, even if the room was still filled with her toys. Jack had made it as comfortable and as much like her own bedroom as he possibly could. Knowing how important it would be for his niece to feel at home.

Shelley kissed Mia on the forehead softly before turning on the nightlight and picked up the baby monitor. On her way out of the door, she caught a glimpse of herself. Not liking what she saw. She looked a mess and felt it too.

On her way to the bathroom, she passed several more mirrors. She looked and felt dirty.

She locked the door behind her and placed the baby monitor on the bathroom sink. The bathroom was large, with a large mirror on the wall in front of her. Still not making her feel better about herself. Shelley peeled off her clothes and pulled out the band that was keeping her hair up in a pony tail. Her red hair now falling around her shoulders. She reached up her hand, turning the shower head, letting the water fall through her fingers, then stepped inside.

The warm water fell on her face, making her blind for a moment. Her hand wiped the water from her eyes and took the bottle of body wash from her other hand, popping open the cap, letting the liquid run into her palms. She lathered it up with the water, massaging it all over body. Her mind wandered as she lost herself in the warm soapy water. Shelley ran her hands over her body, across her breasts and down her stomach. It felt good. She wanted her hand to move lower and closed her eyes.

All Shelley could think about was Sam. The feel of hands on her body. Her fingers teasing her through the soapy water. For a moment she could feel Sam's breath on her neck and a hand down her spine.

She braced herself against the shower wall with one hand. Whilst her other went where she needed.

Shelley's whole body ached, not only in pain but in her need for Sam.

Remembering when they had last shared a shower together.

There was a hand on top of hers, fingers entwined. Shelley held in her breath moving her hand lower. Fingers were now inside her, sliding through her warm wet arousal and wetness from the shower.

"Saaam." She moaned.

"I'm here baby!"

Shelley moaned feeling her pressed against her, kissing her back and neck. Surprising her in the shower. Sam took her time, kissing slowly down the redheads spine then making her way back up.

The water from the shower poured over them. The heat of the water and their passion for each other making it hard to breathe.

Sam ran her hand down the redhead's back. Caressing her every curve. Perfectly sexy in every way.

"You... Are... A... Goddess." Sam stated.

After every pause, Sam kissed her neck, nibbling in her ears. Shelley braced herself harder against the shower wall as the water became hotter and Sam's fingers delved deeper.

The heat from the water made Shelley feel dizzy. She guided Sam's hand, moving faster, deeper, harder.

"That's it baby."

Finally, Shelley came, gasping for breath, desperate for something to hold on to. She reached back for Sam, her eyes opening, realising that she was alone!

Shelley turned around, letting the water wash away the lather from her hair.

Shelley stepped out of the shower, wiping the condensation from the mirror. Looking at herself, combing through her wet hair. She felt better, clean, a little bit more human.

Seeing her own reflection in the mirror made her think of her last encounter with Isis. Seeing both of their reflections, but not her Sam, breaking her heart. She missed her so much.

Shelley picked up the baby monitor from the sink and headed out into the main hallway of the house. She peered into her daughter's room, the child still fast asleep after her bedtime story.

Shelley looked around the house, wondering where her brother was. Whilst she was in the shower she hadn't heard the front door open or close. Although she had been distracted by thoughts of Sam. Lovely thoughts!

"Jack!" She shouted.

After a few seconds a booming voice came from on top of the house.

"Up here." He shouted.

Shelley put on her coat and zipped it up, remembering the ride home. How cold it had been.

In a few moments she was on the roof of her brother's house, seeing him peering through his telescope.

"So your neighbours have dropped the peeping tom lawsuit?" She asked.

Jack smiled, finding her jokes only slightly less amusing than his own. Shelley wrapped her coat around her tightly as the cold finally began to bite.

"What at you doing up here?" She asked.

"It's been a while since we've done this. I thought it would be nice! How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"To be honest I don't know. The last week has kind of been a blur."

Shelley sat on a little stool in front of her brother. This was going to be one of those conversations that they both found equally embarrassing.

"I know what you mean. I've only been home once this week and today's the day. But how are you really feeling?" He asked.

And there was only silence. Shelley didn't know if she could put into words how she felt. Her emotions were all jumbled into one big pile of craziness.

"Angry, lonely, numb." She rattled off, to name but a few. "It still doesn't feel real. I keep expecting her to call that she's running late or find a post-it note on the bathroom mirror telling me that she loves me. But..."

"But what?" Jack asked.

"The last few days before she was taken, we couldn't even say two words to each other. What if she didn't love me?" Shelley said.

Jack looked at his sister, the events of the last week beginning to take its toll on her face. And the thought that Sam didn't love her was the worst.

"You think that she would have taken your place if she didn't love you?"

Jack always found these conversations difficult, even when Shelley was married to Daniel, any conversation of an intimate nature was always a little off-putting. Mainly because she was his sister., and he never wanted to think that she had feelings and emotions. Especially now, with Shelley's relationship with another woman, and not just any woman, his colleague and friend.

"I..."

"She loved, loves you. That's why she..."

Something made him stop.

"Why she... what?" Shelley asked.

"The two of you never really talked after you left. When I went round to the house she told me why she'd been so distant lately."

"And she couldn't tell me?"

"I think you were the one person she couldn't tell. With everything that had happened lately. Losing so many people, her friends. She thought that it would be easier for you if she distanced herself. That she was protecting you."

"How was she protecting me by pushing me away?"

"By protecting herself too. That if the two of you weren't together and if anything ever happened to you, that she wouldn't feel the pain of losing you."

Shelley stood, shaking her head and trying not to fall off the roof.

"You mean exactly what I'm going through now."

"I can kind of understand."

"How?

"When you go through that gate you never know for sure if you're going to see those you care about again..."

Shelley became angry.

"You don't have to tell me that you might lose people. I've lost Daniel and the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with."

Jack reached up, holding his sister's hand.

"I know, and I know how hard it must have been for Carter to do that."

"How can I carry on without her?"

"You seemed to cope pretty well without Daniel." Jack said.

He'd never regretted saying anything so much in his entire life. Shelley was shocked at hearing that from her brother.

"Is that what you really think? Do you know how I coped? Because of you! Because of Janet, Teal'c and because of Sam. That's how I coped."

"I'm sorry Shell, it's just that after Daniel ascended or whatever he did. You just let it go, and now after what's happened this week. There's been this whole new side to you. Something I've never seen before."

Shelley sat silently. Of course she knew she was different now. Her whole life had been turned upside down when she had fallen in love with another woman.

"I guess I'm just realising who I really am. That I'm comfortable with who I want to be."

"And being with Carter has shown you that?" Jack asked.

Another silence.

"Yes. Maybe I always knew that I was meant to be with her, not Daniel. Although I'd never change what the two of us had. He gave me Mia. I'll always love him for that. I guess, I had to move on."

"And you did."

Shelley looked at the baby monitor in her hand. Hearing her daughter crying out for her.

"I should go and check on her." She said, standing up carefully.

She turned, heading down the steps back into the house.

"Shell." Jack called out.

"Yes?"

"I like the person you've become."

There was an innocent smile on Shelley's face.

"You know what? So do I!"

Shelley left her brother gazing through his telescope. He'd seen many changes in his sister's life. Some good for her and some bad, but Jack hadn't seen anything have such a positive affect on her than her relationship with Sam.


End file.
